I want to say how much I respect the two of you for bravely contributing both facets of your lives to this online forum.
We all can learn so much from reading and trying to relate to both sides of your piecing work that you share here.
Thanks LG. This board has been a learning and growing experience for both of us.
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I do have a question for both of you, especially MO2C, if you don't mind answering. Did HFF have to convince you, MO2c, to attend Retrouvaille, or was it something you wanted to do too? The reason I ask is my WAW has declinced attending two previous times (1 year ago and 6 months ago) and there is an April 11 - 13 Retrouvaille coming up soon.
Mo2C's response is accurate, but I wanted to comment also. I did offer it as an ultimatum. It was essentially 'If we do Retro and you still feel the same way afterwards, then I'll agree to a D using a mediator knowing that we had tried all possible means.'
There was definitely a reconnection that weekend. It is a very powerful program and definitely worth the time and money. I would say that the majority (if not all) of the couples that were there were very disconnected going into the weekend, but by Sunday, most were holding hands and appearing to be much more loving. Huge improvements. I don't think that both spouses need to go into the weekend with a positive outlook for it to successful.
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Is there anything else I can say to reassure my WAW (who is probabaly also in MLC) that the Retrouvaille weekend could be a positive experience for her?
What is your W's outlook? Does she want to work on the marriage? Does she feel that she is done with the marriage? Is she indifferent? I would approach it differently depending on what you think she is feeling. If she wants to work on the marriage, it probably shouldn't take too much convincing. You could print out some the positive posts on here about it and show it to her. If she has no interest in going, you could use an ultimatum but I would be careful with this. Is she still involved with the OG? When you sign up for the weekend, they highly suggest that any affair relationship be ended prior to the weekend. I guess it could still be successful in this case, but I would bet the odds are much less.
