unevitably aboard the D train...

[cat03]

"reinvent" myself H would just find other things to complain about...

hey sweets)))))))))))) thanks so much for putting into words another one of those things that bothered me but didnt' know what it was. SO TRUE!! if I got better here then he'd find something else to complain there.

I told him that much, last time we talked R (and I believe that might be the last time for good, I have no desire to bring up stuff about a dead and diseased R anymore) that I accepted him with ALL his issues, but it seemed he was unable/unwilling to take ANY of my issues, whatever they might be. Guess at the time the helplessness and damsel in distress mode of ow was more appealing to his weak and spineless soul.

Good riddance again, I prob should've started running MUCH sooner.

Little by little and learning to stop caring if he's come from ow or not, just figured out 2 very hurtful lies he told me right before the crap hit the fan on February, and was going to bring them up to him somehow (snide remark/jab)
Then I realized... to what end??? so I can be called bitter again? accused of not letting him go? of being vindictive and/or seemed like I havent' gotten peace and still holding out for him?

Hell no, I'm not, it'd take pleanty of 180s and more for me to even think about him with me again, and not that it will happen in a million years, but that truly I see him as what he is: a spineless selfish narcisist person totally uncapable of caring for anyone else, adverse to the truth and facing the concecuences.
From someone who cried bitterly after finding out ow was a paid for sex/xrated picts slut, sounding so disgusted at even giving her a foothold and lo and behold a month later has her parking permit back on his car?
I want NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING with him, not a bone of integrity or courage in him.