Things have been going well but there are those bumps in the road.
Lastweek, he wanted some time to himself which was earlier in the week. Okay, that was fine.
Had a pretty good weekend but sometimes I get scared, especially after seeing that he texted her three times Saturday night. I know he was drinking a lot this weekend but still........
I guess I need to keep my mouth shut. He still says he loves me and we had a great weekend together but it bugs me........
He got really teary eyed yesterday when he was talking about the Bible (he was not drunk then).
This morning, he admitted he drinks too much and it is his way to escape to which I said I understood.
Tell me I am being paranoid about contact with OW............
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Tell me I am being paranoid about contact with OW............
IMHO no you are not. Does he still have legal issues he needs to sort with OW? Were they jointly responsible financially? If the answer to these questions (and any other like them) is a big fat NO then he has no need to contact her. Could you suggest a new mobile phone number that he isn't going to go and give to her perhaps?
I'm sure you won't experience any pitfalls but the one I naively fell into was I wasn't expecting him to keep a secret phone that was pay as you go so no bills.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
He had no financial ties/legal issues to her whatsoever because all of his money came here. He never had extra $$$ for her to begin with.
No, they were not jointly responsible for anything financially either.
Suggesting a new phone number is out of the question due to the family plan he has with the kids and if I were to suggest that, I would be playing mother hen and I don't want to jeopardize how far we have come.
Last edited by steelersfan; 03/31/0804:22 PM.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
He asked me if I knew how much the phone bill was and I told him yeah, it is such and such. He has asked me if the kids went over on the minutes, etc. and I said they had not but my son just went over for the type of call he made by $15!!
Every thing is listed right there when I access the account.
Really, he has not changed his behavior but if I see that he is coming home later and he is on the cell phone with her at night again, I will have to pray with how to deal with it. We just cannot go thru this all over again.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Had a pretty good weekend but sometimes I get scared, especially after seeing that he texted her three times Saturday night. I know he was drinking a lot this weekend but still........
Did you ask him why he had to contact her?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I wish you luck with piecing. It's not easy....trust me I know.
As far as the text messaging. You're not being paranoid. I found it pretty typical. My H was still receiving text messages from his OW - both of them. And that was up until about 1 year after he decided to come back. So, it's something they need to get out of their system.
I compare the OW to a cold. It takes awhile to go away, give it time and it will.
The drinking: I'm glad to hear that your H realizes that he is drinking excessively. My H did that too while in MLC. He's cut back a lot since then. He knows too that he drinks too much. They've got to do it for themselves.
Yes, there will be lots of bumps in the road. This is the real test now. But, I know you'll be okay. You've gotten this far, so what's a little more?
We're here for you when you need us.
RU
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott
Jack: No, I did not, and I know he was pretty blitzed at about that time, too.
RU: Thanks for the encouragement. Right now, I think I will be still.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
No, I did not because he and I had many talks before he moved home but not about that. Our talks were focused on our Christian beliefs, how he realized I was the only one for him, that the A is not what he thought it would be, etc.
Even yesterday afternoon, we were talking about our beliefs, straying from marriage, etc. I did ask him a few weeks ago if he felt he had made a mistake about coming home because he was needing alone time and he said no, this is where he wanted to be, still says he loves me very much.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
