Hi. I am new to this site, but have found it very helpful! His affair started when I was 5 months pregnant. The first hint came in October (7 months pg @ that time), we were on vacation & I heard him on my cell phone & confronted him. They work together & he gave me the usual mumbo jumbo about friend from work. Big fight, he comforted me & all was on the way to working again. I believed him because NEVER in a MILLION years would have ever put him in this situation. We have always been the cute & happy couple everyone envied!!! How did this happen?? I have met a professional home wrecker!! In November, the OW called my house over & over (10 times) in one night; hanging up on me. The last time she called she demanded to talk to my h. I told her to leave him alone that he was married & had a baby on the way. When I hung up I told him that he needed to call her & END whatever was between them. He wouldn't. We argued all night! The next morning we agreed he needed some space to clear his head, so he went to stay at his parents. That weekend I started having contractions. I didn't know it because they didn't hurt. On Tuesday, I went in for a stress test & they sent me straight over to the hospital. He moved home when I came home from the hospital & he said it was over & that he was excited to be together & to be a family...aahh RELIEF!!! Short lived!! I started to feel like something was wrong again when he went back to work almost 3 weeks later. In January, I found letters in his truck from her talking very painfully about their s** life. I promptly packed his stuff & took it to his parents, told them what was going on (we didn't tell them in Nov.) & told them they could deal with him. At this time our baby was only 5 weeks old. He has been so confused & messedup, that he has never really bonded w/ his own baby! In her letters the OW goes on & on about being my babies step mom & how all she needs for her life to be complete is her girls, my h & MY BABY!!! That almost sent me over the edge! He did try to end the affair (I got this from her letters) after the baby was born. The OW went on & on about how awful I was & how much he was sacrificing staying w/me. I started to believe all the awful things she said about me! I truly started to believe my baby would be better w/ them!! She said she could deal w/ him being @ home if he would just make time for her or at least call her. Ok, this woman is 38 (my h is 29), she is married (2nd time, m when she met her current h & had e/a during both m's) & has 3 girls (16, 14 - in jail, & 12). There is a girl @ my daycare that saw me upset & asked the ladies if it was a certain girl. Her h used to work at the same place as my h & apparently she went through the SAME THING W/ THE SAME WOMAN at the same time in her pregnancy!!!! They survived & that is my goal. This woman is CRAZY!!! I read all the emotions on this site & I feel almost normal! I thought I was losing my mind!! Now he is living w/ the OW & we have been back & forth on what he "wants". Some days he loves me, others he's not "in love" w/me. This book has been a tremendous help! I have been doing the cheese less tunnel thing since January. I have no patients in this situation & sometimes I feel like just filing for d. My mom has been our biggest supporter, I talk to her when I find myself frustrated & I could do damage to any progress we have made (moving me away from my goal). They no longer work the same shift, so hopefully we can now make some real progress!! I do love him w/ all my heart & soul & I know my baby is better w/ a complete family, when I look at her it gives me strength to go on & FIGHT the good fight!! This is just tough!! Sorry for the long post, I just have lots to say & it is hard to find people to talk to that TRULY understand!!
