Help me act AS IF, Thread 4

[newnamenewlife]

I'm really at the end of my rope. Yesterday all of us (me, H, the kids) went to the aquarium and had a fun day together--except of course H won't touch me or look at me. Still, we crack jokes together. But I feel so alone when I'm with him. I am having SUCH a hard time letting go and detaching. I can't stop thinking about how in love we used to be, how people admired our R, how kind and loving and sweet H used to be to me. I always felt so LUCKY to have him and he used to say he felt the same.

Deep down I think it's all my fault that he gave up on us, that's what's so hard to face. Even if I somehow figure out how to live without him, I don't know how I am going to learn to live with myself.