I have "spoken" so someone here that was a WAS. She wanted to know "why would you want to stay with someone that hurt you? She said "I am sure there is someone out there that can give you the love you need. Maybe your W is not that person". I had to think hard on this question. Why do I stay? Why did I not just throw this all away a year ago when this first started?
That's so strange... Someone asked me that same question the other day, and I think about this alot. Why stay? Why fight so hard?
I'm dedicated, loyal and show perseverance in the face of adversity. I do believe that these are some of my traits that attracted W to me. We have children that we love, and I want to give them a stable environment in which to develop. I want both of us together to nurture them.
My W has given and still does give me happiness. I enjoy being with her, fondly recall past memories and look forward to creating new memories with her and our family.
Is there someone else out there that could make me happy? I'm certain that there is. How many people are on this planet? I don't want to come across as egotistical, but I'm sure there are women out there that would be willing to bend over backwards to get a guy like me. I'm good looking, healthy, intelligent, like to cook, creative and have a job. I think I would rank fairly high on the list of elible bachelors if I were to find myself out there looking. (and the same would apply for my W. She would not have a difficult time attracting suitors)
But to what end? How long does one look? How do you know when you've found Mr or Ms right again. What are the chances that the cylce would just repeat itself? How much are we willing to gamble? What are the chances that you get it right the next time around? Would I be more happy on the dating roller coaster? The highs can be very high, but the lows can be very low. The rush of a new love and infatuation, but what about rejection and broken heart?
I found Ms right 17 years ago and made a committment to her and she to I. I think we made the right choice then. We can make this work. We can make it better than it was before.
