going home was interesting to say the least. i was considering moving back there (from NY to OH). and have now decided against it. it was ok to visit but no way am i moving back! i sound like a brat but i can't help it. mom drove me CRAZY after the first couple of hours. she was crying more than i was and did not turn out to be the rock of strength i was hoping for. i actually had to leave my parents house and go stay with my cousin b/c i couldn't take it anymore. i know she meant well but it's about me right now!!
since my H made it perfectly clear that he was going to LA for the weekend to "enjoy himself" i did the same. sometimes a meaningless hookup is good for the ego! sorry if i sound like a slut but it was exactly what i needed. haven't even had to take a xanax yet today!!
i'm still hoping that this yearlong waiting period we are looking at will give him a chance to reconsider. but i don't want to get my hopes up. he admitted to me last night that he had some sad moments while he was away and was thinking of me. this is the first time he's shown any emotion throughout all of this. and we've been having some really good conversations lately. better than we have in a long time. at the very least we can hopefully end up as friends. even though that's not what i'm hoping for.
good days and bad days. today's not so bad. i'm gonna enjoy it while i can!!
bless all of you. you are in my thoughts and prayers. don't know what i would do without you!
Me: 31 H: 29 T: 10 yrs M: 4 1/2 yrs 01/08: MLC 03/17/08: H moved out no kids 3 dogs
