The first thread is locked! Thank you to everyone who is supporting me throughout the first thread. I am still holding on this site. I still love my husband although it is hard to love someone who does not love me the same way. I really miss him..
The other night, I had a dream about the time we were dating. We both were in love with each other and could not stay away for a moment. We were holding each other's hands all the time and looking at each others eyes when we talked... When I woke up, I missed him so much because our relationship was just like that. I still remember how much I loved him. But he does not remember how much we loved and enjoyed each other's company.
Last several weeks, I am soo confused.. It is getting too long for me to stay in 'unstable' relationship. I am getting tired of it but he is still around. I am having hard time to let my kid go when they are staying with him. I want 4 of us together as used to be...
I have been sick for a several days now. May be just cold.. having really low energy level. H sent me text the other day and said "u feeling ok lovely". You see... it confuses me.. and I know he has someone else.
In a couple months (well more like 6 weeks..), he will finish his school and get a full time job. Things may change after that. I guess I just wait for another 6 weeks and see what happens. Not doing anything is hardest thing to do.. I am so behind from GAL, goal setting etc etc. I am very low in energy.. I will go to C and therapy next two days. I hope I feel better after that..
My kids are doing great for me although they have too many candies in the house! I love Easter but too many candies still left! Especially S2! He is sneaky but honest (2 years old.. right?). So he hides many candies all over the house but then come to me and tells me.. "I am eating chocolate!" I have to chase him all day long but he still has more candies somewhere in the house. "Son...didn't I tell you I am sick??..." Beauty
Last edited by BEAUTYandWAH; 03/31/0807:36 AM.
Me:31 H:29 D:7 S:2 M:7y Together:8y found out his A :07/07 bomb:11/01/07 s: 11/15/07 OW-1 is out of state; other female friends around first thread
Beauty, Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. That doesn't do your PMA wonders -- you're tired, feel like crap, and can't really rest with kids running around (especially kids whigged out on too much sugar!).
I wouldn't worry too much about GAL right now. First, get better!
I don't think your H has forgotten how much you loved each other. But I think many WAS chose NOT to remember it or think about it. But the more he sees you GAL, with a great PMA, etc. the more he will remember it. It will come back to him.
I am still holding on this site. I still love my husband although it is hard to love someone who does not love me the same way. I really miss him..
The other night, I had a dream about the time we were dating.
Hope you are feeling better soon! I feel just like you do (probably a lot of us here do I bet). I've been having a bunch of dreams about my H too!!! Do you think they ever dream about us??? Karen
Hi ladies~ Thank you for stopping by. I am feeling little better today and emotionally felt much better after C. We talked about focusing on myself rather than thinking about worrying about what may or maynot happen... He is great counselor and he would validate my feeling so well and I always feel comfortable talking to him.
Focus on myself... I think I will go over GAL which I made a while ago and see what I can do... I think I should get new outfit for spring look and maybe peachy nails.
Beauty
Me:31 H:29 D:7 S:2 M:7y Together:8y found out his A :07/07 bomb:11/01/07 s: 11/15/07 OW-1 is out of state; other female friends around first thread
Beauty!!! I'm so glad you updated. I've been thinking of you. You should definitely get yourself a beautiful spring outfit. Definitely. And peachy nails, too.
Lots of people have been sick and rundown lately. I'm hoping you feel back to normal soon.
I had a dream about my H the other night too. In my dream he came up and slept in our bed and it made me very happy. The dream was so real, but I woke up and he wasn't there... oh well.
Take care of yourself, lovely beauty.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Hey Beauty! Thanks for stopping by my thread. Yeah, last summer was something, wasn't it??? Like you, I think about the past alot...just mainly missing the man I married...it's like he's been replaced, and I really miss my best friend! And what a lovely time for them to leave us...right before Thanksgiving (week of, for me), a month before Christmas...
I hope all goes well for you...this forum has been so helpful for me...I'm constantly amazed at how many people are in such similar, awful situations. And yet, people persevere, sometimes marriages are restored, and whatever happens, I have to believe the pain diminishes with time. Have a great night!
lwb, girl, Jasmine~ I feel much better today.. although emotionally I am frustrated about small things. I think I will go to bed early tonight..
H also had hard day because he didn't get a grade he wanted on the last assigment. We both were grampy until had Chinese take out for dinner. Food changes peope's feeling so quick. We were able to communicate normal and calm. We did talk about me being grampy and he gave me a hug. He told me if I wait for another 6 weeks he can support me and kids financially (once school is done) Yea.. almost there.... almost there...
He has been talking to different girl these days. I don't know what really going on and who she is beside it is different girl from OW1, OW2.. etc etc. Again, she is like 22 or 23. I am sure it must be a fun to have a relationsip when he is ignoring his the responsibilities; taking care of kids and financially supporting the family. Kids were going to stay at his place tonight but he said he has to study and he will take them Thursday night. He has time to have good time with other people but not kids. He is missing out so much of kids life.
Today I had chance to talk to a husband of my ex-coworker. He said he heard about my separation. He said the same thing; my H is missing out the important time of children's lives and also said my H will never find anyone better than me and my H does not know that he lost a great woman" It was very sweet. It must be difficult for a man to come to me and talked about it. He talked to me very respectfully and concerned. I know there are many great men out there, why my H is jack a**?? UUUUuuuu.. I just want to screem!! but I cannot do it so I am going to find my toy gun and shoot my wall!
Beauty
Me:31 H:29 D:7 S:2 M:7y Together:8y found out his A :07/07 bomb:11/01/07 s: 11/15/07 OW-1 is out of state; other female friends around first thread
He told me if I wait for another 6 weeks he can support me and kids financially (once school is done).
He'll support you but what about the M? Do you have any idea what his intentions are? I realize you may be waiting for school to be done for him until you get this answer from him... You've been holding on for awhile now...
Originally Posted By: BEAUTYandWAH
I just want to screem!! but I cannot do it so I am going to find my toy gun and shoot my wall!
Get one of those guns that shoots nerf darts! They're great! I got my D14 and H each 6 shooters for Christmas. Hope that you do have some avenue to get out your frustrations though! (Punching bag, perhaps?)
I agree with the husband of your ex-coworker. Just from the tiny glimpse I get of you on these threads, I imagine you have the most delightful way about you. You deserve so much better.
Is your family overseas? Are you here all by yourself, with the exception of your children and H's family?
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
and maybe peachy nails.