Beauty is still holding on ths site and kids..

[BEAUTYandWAH]

first thread

The first thread is locked!
Thank you to everyone who is supporting me throughout the first thread. I am still holding on this site. I still love my husband although it is hard to love someone who does not love me the same way. I really miss him..

The other night, I had a dream about the time we were dating. We both were in love with each other and could not stay away for a moment. We were holding each other's hands all the time and looking at each others eyes when we talked... When I woke up, I missed him so much because our relationship was just like that. I still remember how much I loved him. But he does not remember how much we loved and enjoyed each other's company.

Last several weeks, I am soo confused.. It is getting too long for me to stay in 'unstable' relationship. I am getting tired of it but he is still around. I am having hard time to let my kid go when they are staying with him. I want 4 of us together as used to be...

I have been sick for a several days now. May be just cold.. having really low energy level. H sent me text the other day and said "u feeling ok lovely". You see... it confuses me.. and I know he has someone else.

In a couple months (well more like 6 weeks..), he will finish his school and get a full time job. Things may change after that. I guess I just wait for another 6 weeks and see what happens. Not doing anything is hardest thing to do.. I am so behind from GAL, goal setting etc etc. I am very low in energy.. I will go to C and therapy next two days. I hope I feel better after that..

My kids are doing great for me although they have too many candies in the house! I love Easter but too many candies still left! Especially S2! He is sneaky but honest (2 years old.. right?). So he hides many candies all over the house but then come to me and tells me.. "I am eating chocolate!" I have to chase him all day long but he still has more candies somewhere in the house.
"Son...didn't I tell you I am sick??..."
Beauty