>>For some reason I can' shake a statement H told me last friday among a flurry of txts, he said "you are too rough, which may be fine for others but not me"<<
When my husband was divorcing me one thing he complained about was how I was "too emotional." I remember talking with a guy who I thought I might like to date after the divorce was over and when I told him this he mentioned, in a kind of offhanded way that he tends to be attracted to emotional women.
This made me realize something. I am who I am and it's not fair to try and box me into something else I'm not. And, when it comes down to it I would want someone to love me for exactly who I am. All of the good, the bad and the ugly....
Even though the reality is, I may be more emotional than some women, but there's an awful lot of women much more emotional than me. You may be more assertive and what he calls "rough" than some women, but I'm certain he's exaggerating as well.
In other words, from now on don't take anything he says personally and don't ever feel you are to blame, or this is in any way your fault....or if you were different it would have changed anything (when I used to "reinvent" myself H would just find other things to complain about...). It's just the way it is and you no longer have the stress and strain of tyring to make someone unhappy happy.
In the long run that's going to be huge relief.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
