crs, No apology necessary...I've enjoyed reading what people have to say about sharing/learning details about the affairs. I'm still thinking about what I should do regarding this.
Journaling: I have been feeling better about my situation over the last few weeks. I haven't struggled with wanting to call my husband about unnecessary things (I only call if I need info. right then concerning the children), my feelings aren't hurt when he leaves my house earlier than I expect, I no longer sit and wonder if he is trying to start a relationship with the OW again. It isn't that I don't love him anymore, or as much, or am deciding that my marriage isn't worth working on/saving. I am just becoming more accepting of this season of my life. I am finally able to keep my emotions fully in check so that I can be more like the happy, confident person I was before this nightmare happened. I just keep thinking, He doesn't want to come home to someone feeling so sorry for herself or needy about him that she can't get it together. And hopefully this will help him remember and miss what he has left. But if it doesn't, I'll certainly be better off when we divorce if I am already focusing on the other important things in my life and not worrying all the time about him.
All that said, I still struggle with not talking about our relationship when we're together. From what I've read on this forum, alot of people advocate not ever talking about where the marriage stands/what decisions the betraying spouse is going to make/etc. I almost always say something about our relationship. I no longer ask if he has thought about what he wants to do (stay married, come home, divorce, etc.), and I don't criticize him for not apologizing, leaving, being moody, etc. I just don't see what the heck people talk about after the first ten minutes or so when they see each other and they are separated and an affair has happened and nothing has been resolved. Am I the only person struggling with this or giving in to it? For example, my husband showed up at 8:00 yesterday morning and stayed until 12:30 p.m. He left, saying he would come over today. Three hours later, he's back, with no explanations, in a good mood, hangs out until 6:00. We don't usually spend that much time together, and of course with the children around we don't discuss anything about any of this. But when they are playing and away from us, it's hard to make small talk for that long. We talked about the kids, my family, his job, etc., but it seems impossible to chit-chat for hours. What am I supposed to do? What is best in this situation?
