Affair is over and WW is responding

[Hope4us]

Well, had our talk this morning. Wasn't quite as good as I'd hoped, but it was somewhat encouraging.

I asked WW how she wanted to handle the day to day living expenses (as well as DS's college). She kind of looked at me funny. She said if we needed groceries and there wasn't any money in the joint account that she would buy them as she wouldn't let the kids go hungry. So I said, "I guess what I'm asking is, what do you see for us for the next 2 years? Do you see us living as roommates or are you going to see how things go with us and see if any feelings develop between us?" It was quiet for a few minutes. I said "I just feel like if we're going to live as roommates and you have no intention of giving us any kind of chance, that you should pay for your fair share of the groceries and other expenses as I have to start protecting myself for the future". I also said "If you're willing to see where we could go, I'm a very generous person and have no problem paying for more than my share of everything".

It was quiet again for a bit and finally I asked, "so what do you see with us?" She replied "if you want to call it roommates, ok". I then said, "So your plan is that for the next 2 years to live as roommates and then when DS15 graduates from HS we're separating?" WW replied (and this is where I'm encouraged), "That's my plan for now".

I read many places and my counselor has told me to LISTEN to what she's really saying. And to me (and my friend Deb) her saying that's her plan for now means she's beginning to have feelings for me again but she's just not ready to commit or admit to those feelings. Deb also thinks that WW is recognizing the things I've been working on in response to her complaints about me but she's worried that those changes are not going to stick so she's keeping her options open. Another thought I had is that WW doesn't want me to get my hopes up so she's doesn't want to say anything yet.

I got home from dropping DS19 off at school and WW wasn't in quite as good a mood as she was this morning. I'm sure our conversation got her thinking. More space. Keep doing what is working right? No R talks, No pressure. Nothing but fun times and a good PMA for me!

I'll keep you posted.