Please come and tell what a fool I am and that I do all the WRONG stuff. Or all the right stuff - anything ! I miss my friends here. I miss the people who gave support or criticism or advice ! I feel lost. I feel sad. I feel that there no longer is ANY support on this BB !
Where is everyone !???????
Last edited by Cinderellaman; 03/30/0808:41 PM.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
You don't know me, but I am here. lol I kind of keep up with your thread (I live in infidelity...) but have been reading and sad for you this weekend.
Your exchange sounds fine to me, really. I would leave it at what you have already texted. Does it feel right to you, or are you just trying to reach out? I do the same thing sometimes, will reach out nicely to H, so I can start some communication with him. But your H seems very responsive to positive texting with you.
I am proud of you for receiving your kids back, being positive, making it ok that they had fun. You are amazing!!!!
MMF, really ? I see what God has planned for us as our fate...I rejoice in that. Maybe it's a language thing again....
Just now catching up as I pay the bills.
Cinders, I think is just a language thing. An example of how I view fate is that no matter how often I try to drive east, I end up west of where I started because fate has decided for me, whereas that God's will for my life is to go west but I want to go east. Fate would say I would end up west no matter what while God's will for me is to go west but it depends upon whether I listen to Him or not. He gives us free will. On the other hand, I do believe that God can make it enticing or a better decision for my decision to go west.
Does that make sense? (It does in my mind but that is a confusing place to go sometimes )
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
I know, I'm sorry....sometimes that sentence makes me sound like an abuse victim.
I just don't know what to think of him anymore, whether he is genuinley a nice person and kind and concerned, or whether he is just getting his way in everything...
That's square one for me !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I am going through the exact same thing this weekend. My three children are with OW and ex on a trip. They are due back in about an hour. I cried all weekend. I am replaced in my family by a blonde bimbo whore. My kids like her also. They say she is nice and good to my ex. I hate her. I have never felt so much anger as this weekend.
What you did in regard to the seatbelt thing was fine. There is no DBing when safety is involved with our children. Do not feel bad, you said and did what was correct.
Cinders, I don't know why we are going through all this. It is so painful. I know though that God is watching out over us and he has something beautiful planned for us.
Keep the faith
Love Trusting.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Regarding the seatbelt issue and the fact that the OW was operating an automobile after drinking with your children in the car, all bets are off!
I love my W with all of my being. I believe she is a gift from God but if our children are ever in danger, their safety comes first. And I think that is excellent DBing! I would have less respect for my W if she accepted my putting the kids in potential danger than if she chewed me out.
As ACJ said, your H is being a teenage boy right now and not thinking of protecting his children. A couple of drinks can make the most logical, sensible person act like a brainless idiot. I should know
Regarding the OW Cinders, it is awful. On one hand, you are happy that she is treating the children well, on the other hand, the thought of your children liking the woman that helped create a rift between your H and you is difficult to handle.
We are asked to love our enemy in many place in scripture. In fact, Jesus said our two greatest commands is "to love God and to love others". I struggle with the "others" part because He did not say to love some but all.
And Matthew 5:43-48 "43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
So, is He asking us to love the OW and OM in our lives? No. He has commanded us to do it. He understands that hate destroys plus we are hating the wrong thing. It isn't the person that we hate but their embracing of sin that is the real enemy.
I don't think that means we are to embrace the relationship between our spouses and the OP. In fact, that would be accepting of the sin as much as they do. At the same time, we are to love these "enemies".
Cinders, you are amazing. You have shown so much love to all of those around you and God does promise to those that are faithful to Him to make good come from this. How? I have no idea but I trust that He will!
Hugs to you!!!
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
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