My first post - Dday#2 and separating

[stillbreathing]

Thank you for the support. I do appreciate it. Although i have a good network around me, I still don't want to overburden anyone. Of course they say I'm not but still, this is something I need to blaze through on my own.

I don't think OW is blackmailing him. I can't really see how she could taint his public image. This kind of thing is almost expected in his industry (musician). Beside, I already told everyone who might matter. I went on a hysterical rampage after dday and told everyone we know.

His reasonings? He said he is finally being honest with himself. Said he always WANTED to make it work but never wanted to really give his full heart into trying. Says he just doesn't want to be married. He gave me the I love you but I'm not in love with you. He never wanted to be the dickhead who walked away from his family but now he just has to and doesn't care what anyone thinks.

My requirements were pretty tame, I think. No contact with OW. Quit his weekly show that is right around the corner from her house (she bought a house there when he started playing there). He's says no matter what is happening with us it is over with OW. I don't know if thats true, or how long it will last or if I even care. Making efforts to have me be a bigger part of his life, like getting a babysitter so I can go out with him on late nights. He says he doesn't want me to be a babysitter for him. I said you can either look at it as being a prisoner or a partner. He said he would always feel like a prisoner. I can't remember what else right now. Those were the big ones.

This morning he had a royal flip out. He was supposed to have the kids and when I went to leave he went nuts. He actually said "How am I supposed to be able to stay out until 4am and have the things I want with my life if you won't let me sleep?!" I stayed calm. I didn't yell. I just said that i have to move on with my life and I can't care about how he get the things he wants. Thats up to him to figure out. I can only worry about what is best for me and my kids. He took the car keys and tried to stop me from leaving. For the first time in 12 years I actually worried about things getting violent (it didn't). Finally he let me go after calling me a heartless bitch who is trying to take his life away from him. He has always said no matter what happens with us that i would never have to worry about money. Now, he tried to tell me to stay away from HIS money. I said I don't want to be dependant on him, but the only way I will be able to do that is to move on with my life. I have been a SAHM for 10 years and only went back to work very part time last year.

I don't know who this alien is.