H is Having Affair after all - Part 2

[Evie]

this is an email my H sent to D1, after she had written him a letter:

X, Thankyou for your letter and hello.

Have just come back from Switzerland skiing and will discuss S1. He has now in Gold group, his technical ability is brilliant and he was the youngest in his group skiing with 13/14 yr old boys - fab.

I have read your letter - I am not going to try and explain my reasons or excuse what I have done.

There are two sides to every story and to every relationship. Being 41 I am still learning about life and as years go on you realise that you do not live forever. In the short - life has to be right for you and if is not and you stay with the person not only are you being selfish to your self but even more selfish to your partner, which I feel is inexcusable. It is impossible to re-live time and not only would I be wasting my life I would be wasting your mom's too - none of us get any younger.

What I am writing may seem so very very selfish - but life is like that. We are born on our own and we will die on our own - you will and I will one day and in the mean time life has to be right - it has to be right for you.

I did not leave your mom for another women (as every one thinks - at work, friends and family etc etc). I left home because my relationship with your mom was not right - it was not making me happy and the reason for staying at home for so long is because it was the biggest decision of my life that I have ever had to make. It has effected every one around me and at the top of the tree are the boys, you and Y.

Yes - I have been seeing OW and I am good friends with her - our relationship developed after I had left home.

My relationship with your mom has not been right for approx two years and two years is a very long time. I am not going to become a munk for the rest of my life - we all need to move on.

There are a lot of things that have happened between me and your mom - I have no want to discuss them with you or anyone or for you to know these things.

As soon as your mom and i got together she has always said to me that if ever one of us is unhappy in our relationship whether we have children or not that WE MUST move on and not stop together - this I have done.

There are many reasons why your mom has always said this and it is up to her if she want to tell you why. She has had more experience in life in that area with your dad. Your mom and dad's marriage did not work either - relationships do break down and fail and of course they can also work.

I know you are hurting and Y is - and I am sorry, im also sorry for the boys but I will always love you all, I shall never walk away from the boys - ever. They are my responsibility, I love them and would die for them.

As you get older I'm sure you will ( hope you will) begin to understand.

If I put it like this - As a parent it would deeply upset me to see you, Y, S1 & S2 married in a very unhappy marriage. I would always support you in any way if you decided to leave your partner(s), because YOU have to be happy - it's you life and yours only.

Q. If it were you son or daughter and they were unhappy what would your advise be to them?? (I hope it would be - get out of it).

D1, I will always love you - you have every thing going for you. Please make sure what ever you do in life, make sure it's right for you and have the courage to say if it's not - I will never not love you for doing so.

I would love to hear from you but will understand if you have no wish to see me again. We are all individuals and all have our own ideas and should always respect other people's decisions whether you think that they are right or not.

I still respect your mom and would wish for no other women to be the mother of my boys however I don't love your mom - I'm sorry if this sounds hard. x