Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Always, that was just beautiful what you wrote and SO true I imagine !
MMF - sweety, I just haven't tried to hide or pretend, that's all, I take it as it comes and that means that I made and make many mistakes too ! I guess, just being me is the best for me to do, it keeps me where I want to be and where I want to go ! Love yah !
Happy, can't believe you've dropped by ! I see fate as what God has planned for us...so yes, we think alike !
I'm doing well, kids will be back from their weekend away with H and ow tomorrow. I hope that God will give me the strength to be a good mom and welcome them back with all their stories and joy over this past weekend. I am greatful that they seem to be having a great time. I am greatful that ow seems to be trying her best. I am greatful that my kids sound happy, and I must be honest and say that I have enjoyed these few days by myself !
I am sad that H is being childish in that he still does not talk much after our big discussion. But for now I do not have the energy to be the one to 'fix' things again. I will cope without him for a while, it seems the best option and I am ok with that ! If God has planned that we will get back together it will happen one day, if that is not the plan then it will not happen, I find peace in that.
Trusting, thanks for popping in !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
D9 just called that they were only now leaving the appt at the coast. I asked her about the seatbelt situation because one of H's seatbelts in the back is broken and he told me all would be fine and declined my offer to use my car when I offered it to him.
D9 told me that D7 was without a seatbelt all the way there. The trip is 1,5hours from here and they have to take the highway and H drives very fast. D9 said that ow would put her arm out so that D7 would not shoot to the front when H stepped on the brakes.
D9 said that ow would be driving because dad had had some drinks, and ow too for that matter. I was fuming, so I called H and asked him what was going on and that I could come and pick up the kids....I told him that I knew he and ow had had something to drink (alcohol) and that I would never forgive him if anything happened, especially since D7 was not in a seatbelt !
My emotion took over - I cried, and was so hurt inside, I ached that H did not have the responsible sense of taking care of his kids in the way that we used to see fit.
I offered again to come pick them up. He said no, and that all would be fine...I told him he had said that to me before and that now I found out that D7 had gone with him without a seatbelt.
I know now from all that has happened, that we DO NOT have CONTROL over anything that goes on besides our own actions, but with this I am angry and I feel he is not being responsible. He is not being a responsible parent.
He reacted to me, as if I was making a big deal out of nothing. He was patronizing and rude. Then he kept saying, I will take care of it, do not worry.
How does he think that I believe him ?
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders I'm sorry you are having to suffer your kids spending time with H & OW. Like so many others I know how that feels. You have handled it so far better than I did. My H introduced our kids to his OW VERY early on when I was still reeling from the shock of him leaving. I'm glad that at least you have had a gradual transition.
All I can say about today's incident is what someone else wrote to me. Remember that H is being a teenage boy right now. I know that doesn't help you keep your kids safe and I too would be very worried if I were in your present situation. Over the years we spent so much money on cars we couldn't really afford just to keep our kids safe. Mine rarely go in the car with their dad these days but I do still worry about them when they do. As far as I know he has enought seat belts for them all and I'm sure my kids (like your D9) would be the first to tell me if he didn't.
Take care.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
well, I told him that that I wished he would put our kid's safety first and that if in the future his seatbelt is not fixed he is welcome to use my car. He declined the car offer.
I was emotional He was cold
I worry He does not
My kids loved the ow, she was PERFECT, had thought of everything, and was kind a nice to them.
I know that I am still their mother, I have kept reminding myself for te past half hour.
But I really don't want to do this anymore, I want to run and hide from this [censored]. I am so hurt inside. My kids love me, I know that, ow would never replace me in their eyes, I know that. BUT it hurts like hell.
However please know that I am greatful to ow for being like this to our kids. At this point I think I like her better than I like my H.
I sit here crying, because after I asked H to be more responsible, he left me feeling as if I had asked something stupid of him, as if he had been responsible and I was over reacting. It hurts, like hell !
I don't want to go in the downward spiral again.
I can do this, please God help me do this !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Thank you for respecting my wishes when you drove back. The kids had an amazing time with you both this weekend. Thanks for all the new shoes and boots you bought for the kids.
DB is not in my vocabulary anymore.
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
