MLC BS/2?

[missmyfriend]

Patrick, her telling you was for what reason? If she needed you to have the kids while she was gone, why did she feel the need to tell you that she is going to Marco Island?

Without my knowing the details, could this be an anger inside of her toward? A passive-aggressive stance that may be coming out to "get even" with you?

If it is, showing that you are not angry at her in return is the best avenue to take. Even if it isn't, you did the right thing.

Her going to church can be a good thing, especially if she hears messages that tell her the right from the wrong and what God expects from us. And I do not know where you are in your R with Him but it has helped me. I have never felt angry with Him about this because I know it was both my actions as well as my wifes that led to this. Even if I was angry with Him, he can take it and the best thing I could do is talk to Him about it and resolve any issues I have with Him.

Most importantly, and this is not a feel good lie or an attempt to do anything but tell you the truth, since I have started working on improving my relationship with God, my other relationships have improved (with my children, friends, coworkers, other familY and my wife), not to mention I do not feel so alone anymore. It also helped me realize that a relationship with the fairer sex would only be a band-aid and make me feel more miserable, in the long term, than it would be worth.

Again, I am not there to see the interactions between you and your wife when she does the things or says the things that happens but from what you have shared, she is trying really hard to see you as the bad guy and to make the OM the good guy. Her attempts to get the OM accepted by her parents, your children and your friends (and other family) sounds like her manipulation to get everyone to see that she made the right choice. She is probably seeking validation for her decisions.

I would continue recommending that you make the changes real inside of you where you lovingly accept her (not her actions) and show love even for your enemy (the OM). You do not have to embrace him or their relationship but the best course of action is to not appear to be his or her enemy either. Become the good guy, for real. Besides this being the right thing to do, it will do wonders for you. It will probably make everyone including your W question the decisions your W has made.

Further, it could show the reasons why your W fell for you in the first place and help her through this process. Your Ds will respect you for demonstrating the strength to still love the family and be the patriarch.

Seriously, I am proud of how you stood up to the news of your Ws upcoming trip and did not react negatively.

mmf