A, Keep moving forward and put all of your focus on you and your children. Your h can't have it both ways, i.e., his happiness/freedom and then have you and the children as an option as well. He's going to have to choose at some point and I'm afraid he's got a long ways to go and that's why it's important that you start thinking of yourself for a change.
Your h still can't face his demons or his "failures". He wants to keep you at arm's length and yet suck you in whenever he feels he needs a "family rush". His comment about your not taking his calls--too bad. You've got a life to lead and for now, it's w/o your h in it. He made his bed, now let him lie in it for a while.
I can understand how your children feel about moving and losing their home. It's the only place that they most likely have ever known and yes, they are going to have some major issues w/their father if he continues to follow through on this. But, again, it's not your fault and you can't fix it.
I'm sure when his parents return, things will not be quite as quiet and nice over there. Step way back and let his wallow in his bed. Yep, his gravy train is starting to pull away from the station. Continue doing for you and your children. Don't be so quick in picking up the phone and do not be readily available to listen to his "poor" me conversations. It's not helping you to listen to his dribble.
A, I think I hear the conductor--time to step up on the train and start chugging out of the station a bit more. Set your boundaries and stick to them!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
