Affair is over and WW is responding

[Hope4us]

Good Morning. It's been an interesting weekend, in a good way I think.

Friday night DS19 and I went to a sports bar to watch the NCAA's. WW was pretty talkative for the hour or so I was home between work and leaving with DS19. She had some dental work done earlier in the week and had a temp crown on and it came off Friday while she was at work. She talked to the dentist who told her to get some denture holding cream and to put it back on. DS19 started harrassing her about being old and needing dentures etc and they went back and forth, all of us laughing.

When I went up to bed I had a HUGE trigger. WW had to work OT Sat and had to leave the house by 6:00 or so, so she had layed out her clothes (undies included) and that was the trigger. She had layed out the thong and matching bra that she had bought and worn the last time she went to see OM back in early Dec. Of course my mind starts racing, is she lying to me about work and is leaving early so she can go see OM? Is she lying about work and is involved with a new OM and she's going to spend the day with a new one? But then I reminded myself that I can't control her and if this is what she's going to do, then I'm really ok with it because it will be the final straw for me and I'll tell her we need to separate and at least it will be something and not this limbo I've been living in since early Dec.

So she gets up and leaves and an hour or so later I get a TM from her. She was involved in conducting pre-employment testing for our company (her work location) and she was asking what the names were of the son and son in law of a couple guys who work for me who had applied for the job. I told her and we traded a couple of more TM's about the testing. That made me feel pretty good that she was thinking of me (and my guys). She got home way earlier than I expected and almost immediately started talking all about her morning. And that continued for quite a while. MAN IT FELT GOOD. She asked me if I got DS19's clothes washed (he's going back to school today) and I had and she was appreciative of me doing that. She also told me her temp crown came off again but it was her fault because she had eaten a piece of candy but she was going to blame this guy she works with that she can't stand because he's the one who gave her the candy. We joked a bit blaming this guy for all the ills of the world. He is really a good intending person, but he drives WW nuts.

Anyway, the rest of the evening there wasn't a whole lot of interaction as DS19 and I watched more NCAA's (man I love this time of year!) while WW watched and fell asleep watching T.V. in OUR bed. Of course, when I went up to go to bed she went downstairs to her couch, but I thought it was a good sign that she is making progress in that she'll at least sleep in our bed, even if I'm not in it. I wanted so bad to say to her she didn't have to go anywhere and could sleep the night there, but I don't want to push it just yet.

I have to really pay attention to DR right now. The part that talks about not getting overly excited when you see progress being made because it will cause your spouse to pull back.

We're going to have our talk sometime today about our finances and what she see's happening for the next couple years. I really feel like this is a win/win for me. If she says she sees us as roommates she's going to have to contribute to everything which will give her a real taste of the benefits of being married to me and if she says she's willing to see where our marriage could go during that time I'll be able to fill her need for financial support (which is a big need for her).

I talked to my friend Deb yesterday and she's pretty confident that WW is making the transition from her affair to getting more comfortable coming back to the marriage. I just need to continue to give her the space she needs to figure it out.