Thanks Jeff. I really appreciate you being so understanding, and really just being there! All of what you said is true - I know I had expectations, and they weren't met.... They were all sub-conscious but I guess the expectation was that he was going to start showing some sort of interest. And you are so right it is hard to feel good about yourself when they seem indifferent - that's exactly how it felt.
I'm still crying, and I hate it that that's what he does to me. Arrrgghhh. I had a headache after my first post and went had a bit of a snooze and while I feel a bit better, I still am obviously upset and trying to make sense of my feelings.
I didn't want to thank him too much for the work he's doing, cause he is being paid for it, and its just sort of a coincidence that I live there! But he has been really helpful about the smoke alarms.... H told me that in the last two weeks in the block of flats where he lives, his neighbors have been having their smoke alarms going off too.... one of them had the smoke alarm beeping every 10 minutes from 1 am to 4am until H banged on the door (to find a creepy /loser guy who didn't know what to do except keep pushing the reset button - so H told him to replace the battery), and then another time a different smoke alarm went off and he found 4 of the neighbors standing in the hall just looking at it - so H got his ladder and replaced that battery too in the middle of the night! To which I made a sarcastic comment about what a great place to live (with such nutters for neighbours). We laughed but afterwards I felt bad about the comment.
SO.... I sent this text
Thanks for your help with the smoke alarm. The people in your unit are lucky to have u as a neighbour!
And he replied
Anytime. It was good to see you its been a while
But I still feel crappy and used and out of control and pathetic (why would I be waiting for him to come back to me?!?!). So DB could possibly work, I just don't know if I can emotionally handle it.
