Movin' On Over

[Forrest Gump]

I could have sworn I read somewhere that, women would be happy if they had someone who loved them, rather than financial security.

Now you said that you and the husband had been expressing your feelings.

Yet then you back track a little.

"As for telling H to stay out of it I have to a point maybe I just need to come out and say it straight up."

I saw it.

Now... You say that

"I don't have a lot of friends that I can turn to and b!tch about things, and she was always the one that I did that with, and she with me."

We all need this. As Sandi2 said.. You can use her to fill the void.

Personally, I am not sure why she (Old Friend) wants nothing to do with you anymore. I saw you trying, just not sure why it did not work.

"then there is another woman that I met and we have just hit it off from the start, she I can call up at b!tch to about the stupid things that H does or complain about work, etc"

Sounds like time for new friends to me. Please don't forget about the most important one.

"On the bright side of things H and I are communicating so we both understand where we are coming from. If I don't understand what he is trying to get through to me I will ask for further information, and he is doing the same with me."

^^^^ There is the most important one.

Now in closing that I would say.. Yes. Tell H that it is done with OF. Let him know you have it under control. Let him know that if in the future something changes, he will be the 2nd to know.

Moving on.

"Now I think H is starting to understand the way that I think about money."

If you think it is unclear then it likely is.

"Now if we had the money to pay for the washing machine we are fine and continue to pay things off on the schedule that I have planned out."

From you comment again.. I get that things are not being explained as clearly as you think they are.

I for one am of the firm belief that he would get you a new washing machine any way he could.

He would not be buying that washing machine because he wants you to wash more clothes.

He would be doing anything in his means to "fix" the broken/unusable washing machine.

Now.. I am a strong believer in the "No Emotion" theory.

When you do things, Say things, Act on things they need to have no "Emotion".

Now as far as DB'ing if you do something different. There will be no "Emotion" tied to it. You won't know what to expect. Some things will work. Some will not. The things that don't work.. Throw them out. You know what to do if it does work.

Lets take a sec and point out what is working..

#1..

On the bright side of things H and I are communicating so we both understand where we are coming from. If I don't understand what he is trying to get through to me I will ask for further information, and he is doing the same with me.

#2...

We are doing alot together and working together to get our finances back in line, we have a couple of household projects that need to get done so we are working on saving money for that too.

#3...

I don't have anything to worry about on the EA I know that she would not let that happen.

Now.. What is not working you need to come up with solutions to.

What you are doing now, in those situations, is not working.

You are on the right path. Pay attention to that "Little Voice".

Do Work.