Well I looked hot. H came. We made friendly chit chat and I left. It was fine DB, so why do I feel like crap?
Too hard to see him, it just still hurts too damn much. I just want someone to love me. Seeing him just makes me feel crap about myself - and I know its dumb, I know I shouldn't care what H thinks of me, but I do, and he obviously doesn't think I'm that great. It just feels like it would be so much easier to start with someone new without all this pain and hurt between us...
So I'm pretty emotional now. Dont think I can do the 'just friends' thing. I cant detach enough from him. Not sure what to do or what to think. Is 6 months long enough to wait?..... but I still love him and dont actually want to be with someone else. I just wish I could make it stop hurting. The way I'm feeling now is I'd be quite happy not to see him again for another 3 months.
