Okay, thanks One Day for the edited version to clean up my list. Yes, I see more what you mean here. You make a good point about not always taking what she says as 100% true, end of story. It's hard to know what to hear as "true" and what is just some MLC fog talk, especially when my W. sounds VERY convincing about it. I can listen to a lot of stuff from her (and she does make some valid points about some of my / our shortcomings) but this recent stuff about ("maybe") seeing others is a trigger for me.
BUT, I noticed that the edited list is more factually based of things that happened. So that helps. (mind you, there is editing out of other stuff she said--how do you know which is valid??)
p.s. OneDay, re: the 10 minute hug and goodbye, I meant as in "goodbye, we know it is over" kind of hug vs. "bye, see you next week". It did feel very sad. But this does beg the question, if she has been so set on not working on it and it is so hopeless, what have the last 4 months of fence sitting been about for her? I used to think the guilt was the main thing, but it really seems that, in addition to it, there is something else making her hesitate beyond just her fear of hurting me.
Also, thanks for the comment earlier about being solid for her. I need to do this for me first and foremost, and understand it can also be helpful for the relationship.
Ali,
You made me LOL re: the hotel thing!! I'm pretty sure she's at a fancy place, but hey, even those will have the occasional unknown sheet stain now, won't they? She has been saying that she regularly gets sexual attention from men and that she feels attracted at times and this was really missing for us in the relationship. But you know, I'm appreciating from your and One Day's messages that not everything may be great for her all the time and you are right about a sexual excursion not being something that will be emotionally fulfilling.
A mini hike is something that is less than 2 hours and relatively flat! LOL! So, it could be a number of times around the carpark, depending on the size of the lot.
Right, a couple of 2x4s are helpful for me every now and then. I will continue to think about what you have been saying here.
I'm pretty sure she's at a fancy place, but hey, even those will have the occasional unknown sheet stain now, won't they? She has been saying that she regularly gets sexual attention from men and that she feels attracted at times and this was really missing for us in the relationship. But you know, I'm appreciating from your and One Day's messages that not everything may be great for her all the time and you are right about a sexual excursion not being something that will be emotionally fulfilling.
