I got the car and it's great. Getting to Cleveland was a real planes, trains and automobiles experience though. I had to connect in Chicago and American Airlines canceled tons of flights and I got stranded for a night. Ah well, I took myself to the movies which was fun. I got the car the next day and I love it!
As for karate man...I REALLY like him--too much I think. Why is it too much? Because he is not meeting my expectations in terms of pursuing me. I truly need to know that a guy digs me and to know that he needs to show me by calling, emailing, whatever. I'm not getting that right now from karate man. Though there are extenuating circumstances like some health issues and his kids spring break and travel, I think if you are into someone you find a way to let them know even if you are busy. In these days of cell phones it's easy enough to send a text or message just saying "miss you" or that kind of thing.
I don't know, maybe I just don't understand men. I've read the Mars Venus stuff--guys need their cave time and all that, but in order for me to feel valued and desired I truly need the guy to make an effort--it doesn't have to be grand gestures, just little things to know I am on his mind.
Things are SO nice and sweet and affectionate when we are together and when he leaves all I can think about is when will I see him next, but apparently he does not have the same experience. He leaves and sends a nice email about our time together and then goes underground for a while.
I don't like it. It makes me insecure. My girl friends and my girlfriend's boyfriends reassure me that I'm "getintoable" but I really wonder if I am. It is all pretty frustrating but it is also a very valuable learning experience. If only I could learn to be more patient!
Love to all us needy, passionate, insecure and brave souls!
Ah, Althea - don't settle for anything less than a guy who is absolutely besotted with you!!!!
Especially a guy with his marital track record, he would sure need to be trying a lot harder to overcome that handicap!
Remember, too - every guy you date is NOT a referendum on your worth. YOU are the one shopping here, checking the fruit to see if it's bruised, looking for a guy who is really worthy of the tremendous lifelong love you are capable of bestowing. YOU ARE THE PRIZE.
No, a guy doesn't need to be needy, or clingy, or texting you every ten minutes - that would be creepy. But if you're getting the vibe he's not as into you as you would like - maybe you're right? And maybe that says more about HIM than it does about you.
Of course, if you had three other dates lined up this week, you wouldn't be thinking about whether he was calling you or not.
Ah, Althea - don't settle for anything less than a guy who is absolutely besotted with you!!!!
Thank you for the reminder Ellie, I really do need that. I am good at telling my friends that very thing, but bad at telling it to myself and really believing it.
I am capable of bestowing great love--you are right. I do long to find the man worthy of that love. Some day, I hope.
I wonder if it's fair to have an expectation that the guy doesn't know about. Maybe you'll meet a really fantastic guy who adores you, but just isn't the type to show it by being in touch a lot. So what would you do? Tell him that's what you want? Probably, if/when it gets serious enough. But if you dump him right away b/c he's not meeting needs that he doesn't know about, you might miss out on someone very special.
Love, N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
At this point Nic, I'm definitely not going to dump him. But, I am going to totally back off and see if he initiates. I have sent out lots of "I really like you" vibes/messages and will see if he is able to return the sentiment in any way that speaks to me in my love language. I like so much about him, but honestly, if he isn't totally taken with me, then why bother trying to pursue it more? I don't want anything mediocre--I want something really special and I am willing to wait until Mr. Special and I find each other.
One extenuating circumstance is that he is dealing with some fairly significant health issues and I know it must be a big concern and he may be trying to protect me from having to deal with something potentially life threatening. He's the kind of guy who would not want to drag me into anything messy--another reason I like him so well--he's considerate that way. He's certainly not a victim/crybaby/"why me" kind of guy...sigh. He's trying to make it seem like it's no big deal. I have let him know that I am here for him as a support and that I'd really like to continue to see him and that I can handle the health issues. The ball is in his court.
Ah life. Love. Romance. It's all so wonderful and awful and so very complicated! No one is perfect. Karate Man is certainly not perfect. But he is worth the effort--as long as he thinks I am too. Time will tell.
Meanwhile, guess who has suddenly been back in touch...Farty Man! Oy Vey! I'm not THAT desperate, don't worry!
From No_Hill To Exclusively Mother Moving On I think of You
I think of you When the city lights shine I can only see the their reflection deep within the pools of your eyes I think of you When I witness a brand new stream flowing out of the rock with water so pure so crisp I cannot resist but to quench my endless thirst
When I think of the Mother of all beauty and grace I think of you
Let me drink of the cool water To loose myself in the rapture of your gaze It is mine it must be mine to relish to embrace
I think of you Only of you
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
