Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I am sorry to hear about the nasty things that happened to each of you at bomb time. You are all such strong survivors!!
I think I should clarify. Around bomb time, I felt NO anger towards him. I felt numb and insanely anxious, and my entire focus was on, how did I contribute to this situation? AND, what can I do to turn this situation around? A lot of people who loved me were angry, but I was only angry at myself.
So it is really weird, now, to start having thoughts about how he handled it like, "Man, what a JERK," or, "What a total clueless loser". "who is this a$$#($* who has NFC?" It's like the thoughts are 5-6 months late or something. Before my thoughts were, "I can totally understand why he is doing this, he is confused and hurting and I really f'ed this one up big time". But I don't want those thoughts (that he is a azz&^& with NFC) to take over!
Also, this is just as weird, I am really MISSING him, in a way that I don't think I've let myself, since the bombs dropped. Before it was just... pain. Not like, "I wish he was here, so we could [fill in the blank]".
to answer your questions....
Ali, it ended with the thing like: T: well, I should get going B: well, let's talk again soon! I can call you, or you can call me, or dljsfkj T: what was that? B: I don't know what I'm saying. (laughter)
and then shortly after that we got off the phone... so we left it open.
One Day, I like the "viola player advice" phone call idea too. It seems very "valid", like it is an actual reason.
Where, my feeling is that I should wait some period of time and then call, prob for the "viola player advice" reason. The only question is how long to wait. There seem to be two camps... call in about a week so you don't lose momentum, vs. wait 2-3 weeks to give him a chance to contact me first. I will listen for the Voice. And I am ALSO listening to you guys, with OPEN EARS.
I am frustrated about all the crap I have to do this weekend.... it is like the only time I have to take care of my 'real life' (laundry, making food, grocery store) and do homework and right now I have NO motivation to do any of it... I kind of just want to curl up in a hole with my sad thoughts. I am kind of wondering if *I* am depressed, or just tired from being in grad school and sick all the time and never getting all my work done and also never having time to *play*.
*BUT*, the meeting with my new tutoring student went really well. His dad asked us to go for 2 hours instead of 1 and then made another appointment for monday so I will make 3x as much money from this client as I thought I would this week. Yay!
You are all such strong survivors!!