Good to hear you're going to pick up golf again. I've been doing a lot more of that myself lately. I've found that this separation has been a great opportunity to get back to doing the things I enjoyed. Don't get me wrong, it's a crappy situation but believe it or not there are some positives that go along with it. Try to focus on the positives instead of the negatives.
About W wanting space and also wanting you to fight, I think both are true in my situation. W likes it when we have our date nights but doesn't want me to know every detail of her life anymore. I really don't care to know either. My rule of thumb is to not bring up any touchy subject when we hang out. I don't ask to see her everyday, but we manage to see eachother most days. Before I set boundaries about not wanting to see her when she's seeing OM she was the one initiating most of the contact.
Your W is in a fragile place right now. She'll look for any excuse to see you in a negative light. The solution is to not give her any excuses. Try to be pleasant with her no matter what. Don't get angry. If a disagreement comes up that must be addressed be rational and try to understand where she's coming from. Work with her needs to try to get what you want.
Those are the things that seem to get results for me.
