wii, I loved you sense of humor and sarcasm on Fish's thread, so I followed you to your own thread. I must say, it's comic relief...and not just at your expense, but because I can relate in many ways. Anyways, you couldn't love you?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Thanks for dropping by Bug Lady! One of the ways I have tried to keep myself sane is through humour, sometimes it's a little out there but hey...This is such a difficult struggle for all of us and even those of us who have given up still need to heal and find ways to make our lives happy and whole again. I guess that's why I stay on the board, maybe my struggles, and hopefully successes, will help someone else out there too. As far as fish's thread, I in no way want to come across as making fun of him, I know the pain he feels and to some degree have travelled the road he is following right now. Someone once said that we learn from our experiences but it's better to learn from others experiences. I can't say I would respond any better than fish is if I was in his situation right now. It's damn powerful to have someone validate you and see you as worthy when you've been demeaned and demolished by the person you've loved and cherished, in my case for 17 years. I just know that the emotional struggle I went through, and sometimes still do, in regards to creating an emotional bond with someone else at the wrong time (and it didn't even become an A, but was heading there until she kicked my ass to the curb ), is not something I would wish to repeat, and I sure wish fish wouldn't do it to himself but we all have to learn in our own ways. So thanks for dropping by and to answer your question about being loveable, one of my struggles is to recognize that I am a worthy and loveable person. Rationally I can see all my good points and friends can tell me over and over but emotionally it's much harder to really believe, if that makes sense. When the person you've trusted and who you believed knew you better than anyone else in the world seemed to have concluded that you are unworthy, it becomes a real struggle. I also know that it is a very common stuggle for people in my position after a breakup. So, all the best to you in your DBing and in making a great life for yourself.
Just got back from taking the kids out for lunch. We stopped at their mom's to pickup some items. I had thekids phone before we dropped by as I don't like to invade her privacy without checking first. She didn't answer the phone and therefore was probably out grocery shopping. So when kids and I arrived she had apparently just returned home. When we went into the house there was OP in the kitchen putting away groceries. Surprise! OP greeted me and I politely returned the greeting. The surprising thing is I had no emotional reaction to finding this person there at all, none. The kids and I then went out for our lunch, had a nice time and now we're back at my apartment. I always wondered how I would respond if I ever found OP in what was my home, now I know. W must have been relieved, I know the last time we dropped by she hid OP. I guess the time in the summer where I threatened to rip OP's heart out and stuff it down her f'ing throat may have created some anxiety, who knows But today, I just don't care! Works for me.
This afternoon I took D10 out bowling and for ice cream afterwards. We then went to a small town nearby where she likes to look through the craft stores. After we parked and starting walking I said to her "So, are you still a happy girl?" and she replied "Yup, why wouldn't I be?" and I said "Well, sometimes when people have gone through a lot of unwanted change in their lives they aren't as happy for a little while, we've gone through a lot of change" Here's her reply, right from the mouth of a 10 year old: "Daddy, no matter what, there is always something to be happy about" Yes, wise beyond her years that one!
But today, I just don't care! Works for me.