H called yesterday evening to speak about May and how we're going to arrange things. I couldn't talk to him because I had a friend over. He asked if I can call him next day. Where should I call? He says Our loft, OF COURSE ! As if he never moved in with OW.
Today I called him. He acted as if we didn't communicate for years! He called me "honey" and my pet name. He said "please don't leave me, ILY. I don't know why did I do it, I wanted something but now I'm not sure what it was. I want to end it with OW but don't know how." I said, do it when you're ready, I don't want to push you. He said, you're not pushing me at all and OMG, I'm ready RIGHT NOW. I just don't know how.
In short, he said everything I wanted to hear so badly!
Unfortunately he was dead drunk too...
I said I love him and alwsays will and will wait as long as it takes. Figured it's safe, he will not remember a thing anyway.
I don't know wehat to think of it! Are we there yet? I cried when I hung up and I still do. For months I was hoping, waiting and now it's happening. Is it real? Or is it just alcohol speaking? He was a moderate drinker before MLC and I don't really know what to expect from him when he's drunk!
I don't want to get my hopes high again and I'm afraid to lose the moment I was waiting for. How am I to act?
Would appreciate any thoughts!
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
WOW Stella! That sounds like a HUGE step forward (whether H was drunk or not).
I can imagine how hard it must be to got get your hopes up and get super-excited (!) I think I would have a secret smile about it, and call H as planned tomorrow. Act as usual, but maybe a little friendlier and see what happens when you speak.....
How drunk did he sound? Drunk enough to not remember anything he said? or just a bit tipsy? I think drink sometimes loosens tongues and people say things that are on their minds that they wouldn't usually say.....
YAY Stella!
L.xx
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart. And you'll never walk alone.
How drunk did he sound? Drunk enough to not remember anything he said?
Drunk out of his mind! I think he dosed off for a moment while on the phone with me. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts..?? Oh, I hope so! I'm sure everything he said will be blacked out tomorrow and may be it's better this way. He will be less tempted to ran back into the tunnel.
Thank you, One day, for positive thoughts and kind words
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
sorry I haven't checked on you the last few days...
I think you ARE GETTING THERE!! YOU ARE!!! I don't care if he was drunk or not, I actually believe when we are drunk we are more honest... BUT, do not pursue him now, push him, become impatient. It seems that he values the space you are giving him a lot. Good Luck Girlfriend, I am happy for you!
K
PS I wouldn't bring this convo up. See what he does...
OMG! This is BIG!!! I agree with EVERYTHING Kalni said. Call H tomorrow but don't bring up previous conversation. Be friendly and act as if. Take his lead, see whether he brings up anything he talked about. Give him space and see what happens.
I'm praying for you!!!! Let us know what happens.
((((((Stella))))))
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thank you, ((((guys)))), you are the best and your support is Invaluable!
I'm off the board for today ( ), to be continued tomorrow.
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
Absolutely awesome!!! Man, did Ali ever nail the positivity of this day or what! I don't think it matters that he was drunk. I agree that people are generally more honest due to being so relaxed when they are drinking.. and if he doesn't remember it tomorrow at least you can feel some gratification since you've had a peek into what's really going on in his mind.. even if he isn't completely aware about what's going on in his mind.
I'm with Kalni.. don't bring up the conversation. don't pursue and act as if!!
Who cares if he was drunk as a skunk. I also agree that we sometimes say what we really want when we've had one too many. Maybe he planned to get drunk and then call you. Who knows but I'm sure it would have helped him get up the nerve to say what he felt.
Everyone is right too that you shouldn't bring up the conversation. Hopefully he will.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
), to be continued tomorrow.