Yes. Her "allowing" it is a good sign. Seems to be working from where I am.

Yes, keep moving forward.

You rearranged the sentence structure there so we will consider that a new question.

"well it just feels like W is holding me at bay and then when her needs bocome too strong, she satisfys them with OM, not with me."

She may be holding you at bay.

She may still be lacking something.

She may be thinking about the OM.

She may really be thinking of you.

She may be looking for a way to tell you to step it up a little.

She may really enjoy being close like this.

This list could go on and on.

Your job becomes cross off the ones that you can't "control" or the ones that don't move you forward. Like number 1, 2 and 3.

Once your list is "complete". Then you can see more clearly where you can make a difference.

All the other stuff is just fluff. It's not about you or her. Its about the 2 of you together.

If you change something about you. Wether she stays or goes you still have made that change.

You feel this way because you are human. Life, Time and Kids have taken their toll. It is reasonable for you to feel that way.

Now to use my freshly stolen nugget of wisdom.

Don't try to "fix" it tomorrow.

Relax
Eat
Think
Act normal
React.. Smartly.
Do something different.
Emulate.
Do Work.

Lets get "RETARDED" in here.