Wow. HOW did you get to this place? I feel exactly like ACJ. I am struggling against it so hard---accepting a D. I can't accept that a D is what's best for any of us---me, H, or the kids. But it appears I have no choice. So how did you get to that acceptance? I would really appreciate it if you could check out my thread here on the MLC board. I am spinning and could use some input.
Thanks.
Hi tp,
I'm not sure how much help I can be to you, as I am really in a different place, emotionally.
In my case, it took me about 2 years to get to this place. I made the big break when stbx got serious about his gf and started having her sleep over when the kids were w/ him. That was when I really accepted that my M was over, and that a D wouldn't make it any more dead than it already was.
The thing is, the more distance I have gotten from the M, the more I have been able to see that it was not a good M in many ways. At its best, it was okay; at its worst, it was unlivable. Now, I am not saying that this is the case for you - that is why I am hesitant to give advice. There are people on here who had great Ms, until their Ss did a 180 one day and left. I do think that my stbx is/was going through some kind of MLC, but he also has some major issues (alcohol, narcissism, infidelity, porn) that did not start in MLC and will not end with it - if MLC even comes into play here.
I don't know if this will help you, but it's the best I can do.
Best wishes, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
