Would your W give you access to her conversations/txts with OP?

If she won't then personally I think that is a sign that it is wrong - and she knows that. In a healthy M these things should be open.

Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength