Well, I just returned from summer clothing shopping, yes sir, 7 shirts for $50.00, and that includes the tax! I like to lay in wait for the babes at the reduced rack and...well, there never are any babes but my wallet is alot thicker thanks to that reduced rack, that's good. Sometimes I wait for the "25% off the reduced sticker price" sale but I couldn't wait this year, I threw out all my summer stuff from last year, a new start and all that. Anyway, I'm sure this is all fascinating you Dbers but I do have a point here. I have found since my separation that I am far more outgoing with people, I enjoy bantering with them. I rarely would do this pre-sep. When I brought my treasures up to the cashier I said proudly "Well, my summer shopping is done!" and she replied "off the reduced rack too, I got all mine there last week" (Ooh, I think it could be love!). She then said "there's nothing wrong with this stuff, it's just not this years style" and I replied "neither am I, so it works out perfectly" she then said "I'm not this years style nor was I last years!" I then asked her to marry me (just kidding) I then joked with her about being careful folding one shirt cuz it was my expensive one, it cost $15. She had to use my $10 off coupon and said "I'm sorry I'll have to take it off your expensive shirt, now it's not expensive anymore"...so we bantered on like this for a bit longer and it was fun! This is something I do with people way more often than I used to and I'm kind of proud of it and I've discovered people like to do it too. So that is my adventure today, I think I'm becoming the comic relief on this board, I don't have much else going for me these days as far as Dbing but we each have our purpose, don't we. Oh, and Easter was fine, W was her usual pleasant self when around my family and then a statue in my car on the way home. Fun Wow!
Well, just one more day of W spreading her joy! I called her this morning to ask her to pick up the girls from their respective events this evening, I would drop both off if she would pick them up. I have been attending a DVD series and discussion at my church, and wanted to do so again tonight. El snarko was at her finest, "Oh, fine, whatever!" I then said "if this is a problem, then say so" She then went into a rant about "having" to scream at the kids and not having time for her own breakfast blah blah blah. I said "OK" and then hung up. So tonight when I pick up the kids from her place she says "so is this going to be a regular thing?" Again, with the snarky, "how dare you inconvenience me" tone. I informed her next week is the final meeting. It's funny, but not surprising, when she needs a favour, and it's a reasonable request, I'm there and I don't bitch about it, I do it. Yet, when the shoe is on the other foot, different story. Oh how I miss that woman....or not.
I forgot to mention an intersting little tidbit from this week. The other night I picked up the girls from W's place, she was still at work. The girls had helped their mom put up new drapes around the house. They took my to mom's room to show me the new drapes there and I couldn't help but notice that on the table beside her bed is a framed 8 x 10 wedding portrait of her and I together. Whew, what a mixed up lady! But, then again the frame probably just matches the decor. I know I sure don't anymore!
No one is making you spend time with W. Own your choices, cut the bitterness (even if your wryness is pretty funny), it isn't good for you or your kids.
OK, how does one "cut the bitterness"? I'm open for suggestions. Just for the record, I don't walk around fuming with anger and bitterness, nor do I sit around spewing venom in front of the kids or anyone else but I do have angry feelings that arise so what do ya do with 'em? Let them go is a nice phrase but how?
Recognize that you are exposing yourself to these situations and to W for your own reasons. She is not obligated to act any particular way toward you. If you don't like the way she acts, stop putting yourself in those situations, or accept it as a smelly consequence of YOUR choices.
You only get to be bitter if you are a victim. You are an adult who is capable of making his own choices and who freely chooses to interact with someone he finds unpleasant. You are NOT a victim. So, stop yer whinin' and own the consequences of your freely chosen actions. If they are too smelly for you, stop being angry at the sh*t for stinking when you step in it. Walk around instead and give it wide berth.
Well, I'd love to sit and shoot the sh!t with you OT but I've got a prayer meeting to get to. I will definately consider the log you've just pinched for me and not just flush it. Gotta run!
Well, the prayer meeting was a treat. We ran out of things to pray about so the guys started swapping stories about all the booze they used to drink before they were saved! I was strangely silent. Maybe I'll put on a dress and pray with the ladies next week.
I then joked with her about being careful folding one shirt cuz it was my expensive one, it cost $15. She had to use my $10 off coupon and said "I'm sorry I'll have to take it off your expensive shirt, now it's not expensive anymore"...so we bantered on like this for a bit longer and it was fun! This is something I do with people way more often than I used to and I'm kind of proud of it and I've discovered people like to do it too.