Help me act AS IF, Thread 4

[newnamenewlife]

Grr. I am so pissed right now. I am beginning to feel like a doormat. H&I and our Ds went over to friends' house for dinner. We had a great time, he and I bantering and making each other laugh as usual. But he remains so icy cold towards me and he is so self-riteous and has a mean streak he never used to have.

D11 got upset about something and he got all angry at her--which was somewhat justified since she was being bratty and whiny. She accused him of being "so mean" and I muttered under my breath at him: "she's got that right." No one else heard me, but him. I was really referring to how I feel he's been so mean to me, but he didn't catch on. I wish I hadn't said that, but I feel so mistreated by him lately. I guess I shouldn't expect him to be sweet to me when he's hell-bent on separating and insists he doesn't love me. He is, I suppose, now using his actions to justify his words.

I put the girls to bed and now it is taking all my strength not to go upstairs and tell him that if he continues to treat me like this--no touching, warmth or affection when I am for the most part perfectly nice--he should get out immediately. I want to DB and I will remain cool and won't say anything, but at what point am I being a martyr? Our friends (H&W) are so sweet and affectionate toward one another and H sits there refusing to touch me. It's humiliating! Why am I holding on to him at all??

OK, thanks--needed to vent.