Just read your thread and think I can offer some advice. I've seen some positive results... my W hasn't come back or anything but at least we're on good terms now.
We separated and she moved out because she couldn't handle my constant pressure. I didn't go dark, but I did cut the communication down a lot and stopped initiating the R talk altogether. I lined up a few activities to keep me occupied during this time, I GAL you could say. Some of these were things I wouldn't normally do. For example, W loves to snowmobile but I never cared for it... sooo one of the things I did was go snowmobiling with some friends and I had a blast. Next time I saw W we went out for dinner. When W asked what I been up to she was impressed and intrigued by the things I was doing and how I snapped out of my post-separation funk.
What was even better is that GAL'ing was making me happier. This was good because I needed to feel happy but W also noticed. We started spending more time together to the point where we talked everyday and went out together on date nights several times a week.
Every time I see W I am smiling, I listen to what she has to say, am considerate, and do my best to make sure she feels comfortable around me. I really have to battle with my internal feelings to pull this off, but for the most part it works. W and I have been getting along great... better than we have in a long time. What you should try to do is be in a good mood around her. Don't say anything to bring her down. Don't initiate R talks. When you see her try to look your best and smell good, use cologne.
You want her to fall back in love with you, and to do that you need to try to be the person she fell in love with to begin with. This requires some soul searching on your part and the strength to put the negatives of the past behind you. Be forgiving. This can be hard but it needs to be done. You need to figure out what W wants and be that if you can.
Hope that helps. The methods outlined in DR to have helped me reconnect with my W in a positive way. She still need more time to figure things out so patience is the next thing I need to work on
