I just got back yesterday from our little mini vacation....me and the kids had soooo much fun!! I really enjoyed spending time with them.
I think my H was sad that he missed it....good!!
I know he was sad...he texted me a few time while we were gone to tell me he was really having some down days lately....
All I said was that I was sorry. He replyed it was ok.
When we came back, he was texting me saying he was really worried about us....it was my first trip alone on the interstate and all that! I did good!! Didnt even get lost once!!
He is still spinning, it is sad. We met at tkd last night and he and I went for a walk while they were in class, we talked about my trip with the kids....
He told me he was proud of me for going it alone. Was curious if I had a boyfriend, then he tells me that he told the OW about wanting to go with us on our trip...she was mad about that. I have no idea why he told me that....He also claimed she and him were only good friends. Said he wouldnt be able to go to ball practice tonight because he was going somewhere with her....
Then he calls me late last night to tell me that he would be at practice, he wasnt going with her....
H did make a couple of passes at me while we were walking, I looked at him and asked was he still on his medications??
He said yes....
Him missing just one therapy session has messed him up again.
Things arent all that great with him...
He thinks he can just walk right back into my life.
All the comments he made or said last night are all the same ones from before.
Can you believe he is still going in this circle??
I have no idea what is going on with him.
Is he going to have a nervous breakdown??
Seems it may come to that.
Im tired of it. I am my own person. I will not let him control me.
This is so stupid!! He has lost his marbles....
He hasnt asked to come back, but he sure is missing me....or missing something...
I almost feel at times I have to "mommie" him.
If I dont call or text back, he acts like a child!
I wish I could talk to his therapist and tell her what he is up to lately.
I wont, just want him better....My son told me last night that it was ok for daddy to love me, but he could never ever move back home....unless it was for the rest of his life!!
Sad, just because he saw us laughing together, he had questions of why we were laughing.
On the good side, Im not letting it get to me. It is an endless cycle on his part, and he can keep spinning. I think its funny that the OW is the one having to put up with it!!
I am so looking forward to the weekend......
Hope everyone is doing well!!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I WAS JUST THINKING OF YOU...YOU SOUND GREAT! DONT MOMMIE HIM. LET HIM SPIN. RESIST HIS APPROACHES. KIND FROM A DISTANCE. IM SP PROUD OF WHO YOU HAVE BECOME....INTERESTING YOUR H EQUATES YOUR HAPPINESS WITH A BOYFRIEND AND YOU ARENT EVEN D ARE YOU?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
But I am happy! Thing is last night, I was thinking that I didnt like him being so curious and interested in me....I kinda liked it the way it was. I dread the thought of him wanting to come home again and me always having to walk on eggshells around him....its nicer not having to worry about him....
I would love for him to come home, but not until he is fixed, if that is ever possible. Thing is that he cant seem to be alone...even if him and the OW are only "good friends" as he says, he is always over there at her place. I have a good close friend and I hardly ever see her! We talk often on the phone, but me going to her house everyday? NOPE!
I fear that he is thinking that the OW isnt going to take him back and "good friends" is all they will ever be and now he is snooping around me. I dont like that. I feel like he is trying to make her jealous of me by the way he tells her things about me....he told me that she fussed at him for saying to me that he really would have liked to go on our trip with us...she said he was giving me false hope....ok, he told me this and I cant figure out why. Doesnt matter, but there is always a reason why he does these things. I just would rather them be together and deal with all of this and not me....
NOW, if he gets himself fixed...which he is working on, and the OW is OUT OF THE pic! Well, then we have something to talk about...right now, Im doing fine on my own!!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I'm so glad your trip went well. I'm not surprised that your h is cycling back to you (yet again)- he sees that you are going to be OK on your own and that freaks him out. Keep focusing on yourself and your kids and you will be great!
kissak - you are amazing! I'm so happy for you! You have finally let go of needing him and he isn't liking that at all. He sounds a lot like my H in that he needs to be needed but wants to be a little boy at the same time.
Keep it up - you're doing great! I'll get there some day.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Thanks Everyone, and you will get there Mishka....you will.
I wish I could go back and really do things differently, but I have learned alot about myself through all of this.
I have learned that it is not about the problems we have, but how we handle them that make us grow.
I have a long way to go still....
Funny, im thinking this really is MLC for sure....my H texted me today out of the blue...he said he was feeling Old, skinny and ugly.....why he told me this I dont know, but I told him that we all tend to get old....LOL!!
Im having a great day!!
Hope you all are and I am praying for you all!!
Thanks Cinders, glad to hear from you...
Dar, I have been thinking of you too.
Mishka and New attitude, thanks...hope you all have a great weekend!!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Things have been going really good lately. I am for the most part lovingly detached from my H. We get along great lately. Have even gone on walks during our son's ball practice and chatted alot. He talks about his therapy sessions some.
From what I can gather, him and the OW are only "good friends". He doesnt spend time with her like he use too. He is doing his own laundry and cooking for himself. He is staying at his own place. These are just things I have seen for myself. He calls me to talk. He texts me to say hi. Things seem good. Although I have not asked him any questions about his R with the OW.
One thing I need advice on is this...he has asked me several times in our discussions if I have any questions for him.
I have no idea what questions he seems to want me to ask. All my questions would be in regards to the OW or is he wanting to come home yet again. Or they are questions that I really dont want answers to. I have a problem with this only because he commented on that "if" we were to ever get back together "communication" was our problem and if we couldnt do that it would never work. I really dont have any questions other than "is it over with the OW for good" or "are you seriously wanting to come home". But I dont feel like I can ask these questions.
What on earth could he be wanting me to ask? He even asked or made the statement "you really want me to come home dont u" simply because I gave him a hug.
I dont know what I am supposed to do in regards to asking him questions. I enjoy talking to him and "listening", but I feel communication would be fine, but I am sooo tired of talking about our "problems" I have no idea what to talk about.
He is still seeing his shrink once a week. THe C said he has a lot of anger towards me that he NEVER allowed to come out during our marriage. He was never one to get angry. He would blow it off. Well, it has all caught up with him now.
I see some changes in him that make me wonder. Good changes.
I guess what I want to know is what would you guys want to question him? What would you want to know? Im at a loss other than the OW.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I think of you often.
