Confused as Ever

[Snow White]

Morning,

Just talking like Lodo said on his thread, because I am used to doing this everyday now.

I saw some positives yesterday I think, H called me at work before he left for work to update me on a wrestling game we were playing online, he then called 2 times before lunch after he got to work to gossip about things that were going on there. He called again when I got home from work and then when I got home from my daughters gymnastics, to see what was up and say he was on his way home. This is a real bump in the communications, for a bit there, there was none during the day, then there was texts now there are no texts and he is picking up the phone. He did manage to make it home an hour late from work last night but said he stopped for a beer to calm his nerves from what is going on at work and he brought me home a tea. I would love him to let me know when he is stopping because I was a basket of nerves wondering where he was(didn't say anything though).

I go for my facial today after I drop D off at school, I am really looking forward to that. H was supposed to work till 8 tonight but because of the goings on at his work he'll be home for dinner, I might suggest going out with the gift certificate we got for Easter.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I might suggest going out with the gift certificate we got for Easter.

This is always where you lose me, Neecy (not just YOU, but others on this forum as well). I know we are all very different, but I have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to date their cheating spouse. Additionally, when the cheating spouse gets that need -- for recreational companionship -- met by the betrayed spouse, it enables them in their inability to make a decision.

At a MINIMUM, I think you should wait for HIM to suggest it, so you can give it an uninspired "Sure -- sounds like a plan" or some such.

Puppy

[Snow White]

Good morning friend!

I was trying to follow the advice you gave me a few days ago.

Neecy,

Here's a great rule of thumb on the QT with your husband:

If you want to do it (say, go out to eat), because you had a hard day and could use the diversion -- then do it. But be the one to suggest it, and don't do too much of it.
Puppy

I do listen you know ;-)

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Makes sense, Neecy. If it's something YOU would enjoy, then do it, but DO try to limit these instances, even if it means some self-sacrifice.

[Snow White]

You know what, it is something I would enjoy - not cooking and cleaning up. But I am not going to suggest it, because I don't feel like being turned down.

Things have always been like that in the past, it seems like I always want to do everything be it go out to dinner, go to a movie, a game ect., ML. I can't even remember being invited to do something outside of the house and not wanting to do it. And if he suggests it the answer is always yes, if I suggest it it is based on his mood.

[karen43]

Neecy, sounds like things are going great for you and H! I think communication is so important, and you really sound like you are doing well with that! And your H sounds like he is really trying hard which is also great! I am happy for you! Karen

[Snow White]

So I was on Husband's thread and read my horoscope and it was so positive and topical(Husband are these specifically written for people going through what we are?). I am bored at the moment and killing time before I take D to JK. I decided to do a free computer tarot reading - which I never do but a knew of a site that a girl at work always goes to. I didn't pick the deck or the layout I let the computer pick for me. It chose relationship. I asked the question should H and I stay together. This is the reading I got.

reading
Tell me that isn't a little spooky. The only positive things on there are about me. I take it with a grain of salt and it is just for fun but wow.

[GoingForward]

That is a little spooky!

Neecy, when was the last time YOU suggested or initiated a night out with H?

I think if going out and using that certificate would be something you'd enjoy, then I say why not ask? You don't do it all the time, right? Invite H, but DO NOT EXPECT the response you would like to hear. If he says yes, nice. If he says no, then ok. Just tell yourself, "Alright. Another time maybe. No biggie." You will be fine!

[Snow White]

well I won't be asking about going out to dinner because he is now working till 8, the manager and another staff member at his work were fired today and the other 2 called in sick so he is there until close. My facial was quite nice :-)

[GoingForward]

Well then, maybe some other time.

Now I'm jealous....I want a facial, too.



Glad you were able to enjoy something you deserve!