After 2+ years of strife (an EA, ILBNIWY, etc.) W has decided that she will be better able to move forward in her life in a better way if we stay together. She has said she "has to be open to the idea of the M working because for so long she didn't want it to." She says she has no feelings for me, though we have had some physical contact (kissing, etc.) in the past several days.
She hasn't committed yet, and has become a bit more distant the past few days, but in general has made a huge about face. She wants to spend time with me now, invites me to come downstairs and talk to her, watch tv with her, lay on her bed with her, etc. In fact she's asked me not to go out in the evening in order to hang out with her.
There's a whole new dynamic in the house now, but I'm not entirely convinced it's real (I suppose the fact that she hasn't committed to anything is responsible). She has been good about defining her boundaries, telling me that I need to give her a bit more space, etc. and I think I've started to get better at respecting them without her spelling it out.
We've talked about a new life in the future, new rings, new baby, new home, new car, etc., and I think that stuff's a big factor for her. We both agreed we need to do some work to make sure our M is what we want it to before we go down that road (especially the baby), but we agreed that we want to leave the past behind and move forward into a new relationship.
So I'm not entirely certain I belong here yet because I'm not sure she is committed. In fact I'm still without my ring - I'm committed to trying to make the R the best it can be, but I'm not sure I'm committed to the M. Once I am a new ring will be in order.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
