I am moving from my previous thread over hear in hopes to get some other input on my current sitch.
In a nut shell, H had an A in 11-04 to 4-05, we were working on things and something just went way wrong. I felt unloved and unappreciated, so I started distancing myself from H and I too had an A 12-06 to 2-08, yes a long one but over for good. No contact with OM any more period, end of that chapter in my life.
On the bright side of things H and I are communicating so we both understand where we are coming from. If I don't understand what he is trying to get through to me I will ask for further information, and he is doing the same with me. We are doing alot together and working together to get our finances back in line, we have a couple of household projects that need to get done so we are working on saving money for that too. This I know is a trouble spot for us and has always been. H has a good job for right now, but it is in the auto industry so with all the changes that have been happening with pay cuts and reductions in work force you never know what can happen. Thus my problem with our finacial stich. I work also but nothing like the money that he brings in, I am trying to look for another job because were I work, the stress is to the point of being unbearable and adding to the problems at home.
There is a issue that has risen to the top of the heap again, that I really wish that H would leave alone. When H had his A my best friend desided to get mad at me and stop talking to me. At the time I did not have the time to repair two R so unfortuantly that one took the back burner. So when I did have the time to put in the effort, I did what I thought was the best thing for me was to start to e-mail her and try and work it out that way. But it just did not work out for me, I was not expecting to have the same type of relationship with her prior to the riff that we had. I kept running into a brick wall with her, and I finally gave up trying to repair any kind of R with her. Now H who does work with her, has had contact with her and has been encouraging her to talk to me, and me to do the same with her. I don't know if I even want to be friends with her anymore, say hello when I run into her OK but to hang out for drinks or diner, I am not sure about that. There has been alot of things that have been filtered through mutual friends back and forth. She has even told H it will take some time for her to come around, because of some things that were done during my A. So with that out there I don't want this to become a major issue between H and I, which it is starting to be. How can I communicate to H any clearer that I have tried and it was not working and I don't want to try anymore. If she wants to approach me that is fine I will accept what ever she will have to offer but I am done trying to appraoch her. I did use a different approach each time also, so it was not like I was using the same path over and over to work this out. I do plan on bringing this up to our C the next time we are there in hopes that he will be able to help us through this.
