did anyone know that in new york you can't cite irreconcilable differences?? you only have 3 choices...cruel & inhuman treatment, adultery, or abandonment.
Yep, and my H is guilty of all three but we only counter claimed the first 2. He filed for divorce using constructive abandoment. Total BS and he knew it but he said he had to choose something and he thought that was the less of the 3 evils. Dork.
He wasn't expecting me to counter claim. He got furious when I did. He said "it's baseless, senseless and absolutely ridiculous." Dork again.
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i actually can't wait to get to the anger part. my therapist tried to take me there and i couldn't do it. i'm hoping that part of it will hurt a little less than what i'm going through right now.
I was like that in the beginning too. My T asked me how come I wasn't angry. She wanted me to get angry and eventually I did. You will find yourself there sooner or later and you will probably bouce around a lot too. One day you will be angry at yourself, another day you will be angry at him, another day you will have nothing but compassion for him, etc. At least that is how it worked in my case and a lot of other poster's I have seen.
And Cat is right, seeing a L does not make anything final. I was a nervous wreck when I went to see one, but I did feel better afterwards when I found out what my rights were.
I do hope you find comfort in visiting your family. I think that is the best thing for you right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers. (((((hugs)))))
My H too wants the "easy" mediated divorce. He's a personal injury lawyer and acts as if this is just a legal process. Your post inspired me to look up the Missouri law. Unfortuantely it's much easier here. A decree of dissolution can ge granted if there is "no reasonable likelihood that the marriage can be preserved and that therefore the marriage is irretrievably broken."
Don't know about the marriage being irretrievably broken, but I know my heart is broken into a million pieces...............
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
going home was interesting to say the least. i was considering moving back there (from NY to OH). and have now decided against it. it was ok to visit but no way am i moving back! i sound like a brat but i can't help it. mom drove me CRAZY after the first couple of hours. she was crying more than i was and did not turn out to be the rock of strength i was hoping for. i actually had to leave my parents house and go stay with my cousin b/c i couldn't take it anymore. i know she meant well but it's about me right now!!
since my H made it perfectly clear that he was going to LA for the weekend to "enjoy himself" i did the same. sometimes a meaningless hookup is good for the ego! sorry if i sound like a slut but it was exactly what i needed. haven't even had to take a xanax yet today!!
i'm still hoping that this yearlong waiting period we are looking at will give him a chance to reconsider. but i don't want to get my hopes up. he admitted to me last night that he had some sad moments while he was away and was thinking of me. this is the first time he's shown any emotion throughout all of this. and we've been having some really good conversations lately. better than we have in a long time. at the very least we can hopefully end up as friends. even though that's not what i'm hoping for.
good days and bad days. today's not so bad. i'm gonna enjoy it while i can!!
bless all of you. you are in my thoughts and prayers. don't know what i would do without you!
Me: 31 H: 29 T: 10 yrs M: 4 1/2 yrs 01/08: MLC 03/17/08: H moved out no kids 3 dogs
