FISH IS GETTING DIVORCED

[houndfan]

My final thoughts on this mess. First of all I would commend you to have the courage to walk away from your family and marriage if the decision were made in such a way that justified the action. I don't really know for sure as I don't know you outside of this board. But, me thinks this is the spoiled child in you acting right now.

See I have a great 4 year old, I love that kid in a way that is much different than my 7 year old. My big kid is big and handsome and physical. He is an amazing baseball player, great student, never behaves in a way that would offend or irritate anyone!!! Well my little pup, he is different. He is independent, free, funny, and cute. He is little in every sense of the word, but he is smart.... He is spoiled because he is the little one. W and I know that we spoil him, and we do so at the expense of the big one. But, as we have talked, he has us wrapped around his finger.

So, when little hound is not instantly gratified he is a terror. And not like you would expect, we have raised this child with some sort of feeling of entitlement! So everything that he doesn't get or get his way becomes personal or directly tied to his identity....

Fish, you seem to be no different right now! So, maybe your right it's over and you need to move on. Kudos for the recognition. However, me thinks still that this is more about your personal ego and identity than anything else. You have often made comments that fulfill sterotypes and sometimes your posts and comments are shallow.

Fish - are you shallow and unfullfilled in your life? Are you relating personal success to having a beautiful woman on your arm and nice cars etc? Or is success quantitified by the visceral accomplishments in your life?

Forget for a moment this garbage about another woman, rebound relationship or whatever. What the heck is up with you, friend? I know from my own personal experience what it is like to be shallow, egoistic, and selfish. It nearly cost me my marriage and to be honest I won't know for years if I have truly busted it. I can tell you that my relationship is better than it has ever been because i realized that life is too precious to F with the labels.

Fish, I am a former major college athlete. Most people would be satisfied with that step in life. Not Hound, I had to "create" an alternate life to drive my ego. I have a stunning wife - satisfied - not Hound I cheated. I have a great career - satisfied - Not Hound I used to do everything possible to make myself feel better by trumping up my title or role. Nice cars, expensive trips, clothes you know the drill. All to appear as thought I had made it.

BS pal. All of it. I had not made anything because my family was unfullfilled and unimpressed.

At the end of the day do you know who I am? I am Daddy and it took my 7 years to realize that was the most important title in the world for me! So while my wife was with OM, talking to OM, telling me she was going to be with OM I focused on being daddy. I had two very legitimate opportunities to seek out some physical "therapy" during the seperation and each time I did nothing....

What the heck does this mean for you? If you are sure it's over and you don't have the bandwidth to go on NO ONE on this board has the right to question that decision! But, me thinks that this is more about your bruised ego than anything else! Man up dude, get yourself to a point in life where money, Soprano friends, connetions, vacations, trips, cars yada yada mean nothing!

I think I get this DB sh*t because I care about my family more than anything in the world. And I don't give up even now when W talks to former OM (and she still does) because I know that Daddy is going to be a great man. Not Hound the former athlete, big time professional BS guy!

I care about the people on this board that now get it! There are some here that were missing the point and now are left behind. There are others that were perfect and are left behind as well. But, we can all work on ourselves and make ourselves better. You like my advice because it is centric on approach, stimuluss, and results not because I know sh*t. So listen to me my friend!

Go back to your posts and read your comments and see how at times you appear so superficial... start from there and maybe at the end of your journey there will be an amazing relationship waiting for you either with your W or someone else but hopefully with your D!

Good luck my friend!