Well, I kind of expected he would say what he did about working on things...which to be honest I can understand how he feels. In fact, as I have said the past few days...I am feeling the same way. I guess the difference is that I am willing to try because I made a commitment to him .
I just hate the lying. I mean he is still lying to me...how would I ever be able to trust him again? As for the picture...why now?? She never had a picture up like that when they were living together (which I completely expected at the time)...so why now? Why after he has been gone for three months?
I asked him if she knew that he saw me regularly and if she knew we had talked about working everything out and he said yes. So now I am wondering if she thought I would see it...was it to cause drama? Well, I guess it worked. But really, what would she get out of it? It isn't like he is going to move back there.
I am stepping back from the drama for a while. I told him that last night. I told him I am just tired from all of this. So he said "is it all or nothing?" I told him no, it isn't all or nothing...that if he wanted to call me, then call me...but the ball is in his court. I am tired of being the one making all the effort whether it is for us getting back together or just for a friendship..one person shouldn't have to do all the work.
One more side note about the picture. I think I have mentioned this before but she is a dj...so the radio station has a myspace page. It is actually a pretty big radio station and I guess you could say she is well known. So she keeps up the radio myspace page...so not only is this picture on her page...it is on the page for the freakin' radio station. It is just embarassing to say the least.
My gut says she's just trying to cause drama. Why now? Perhaps because he has been gone a while, perhaps the mood struck her, who knows. Don't worry about that aspect of it too much. Your H moved to be with you, and if he puts some effort out there is still hope.
I think you putting the ball in his court actually is a 180 to what was working before - when he chose to contact you and move to be with you. It'll also give you time to escape the drama.
Got any plans for the weekend? If not, call some of your friends cuz I think you could use a distraction.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I keep trying to get that picture out of my mind. It was just so...sensual...that is the only word I can think of to describe it. It really makes me want to puke. That will teach me to be nosy!
Maybe what he needs right now is some time to see what it is like to REALLY be alone. He doesn't know anyone here other than me...so not really anybody to hang out with. If I can stick to this NC thing, reality may set in with him. You are right Michelle, it worked before and he was even living with OW at the time.
As hard as I may try...I can't fix him, he has to do it himself.
I will definitely have to make some plans for the weekend. I do need that distraction...I deserve to have a little bit of fun! My plan now is to do what I was doing when H was 1000 miles away and we had a date for D set. My mother has said several times that I was happier before H moved here...to be honest I think she is right. Time to detach.
I just wrote a whole post and then accidently closed the window UGH!
Anyway, I THINK what I wrote was that I am actually doing better today than I thought I would be after last night. Now, if I could only get that picture to stop popping up in my mind.
So, I called a lady today about staging the house. She was really nice and got me really excited about it. I have been wanting someone to do that but I didn't think there was anyone in the area that did it. Anyway, she is going by the house today and will give me a plan and an estimate next week. If I do it hopefully it will help with the sale of the house.
I forgot about this. Yesterday MIL called to see if H and I wanted to go visit SIL at school and go to a football game. She knew my H would LOVE to go to the football game. I told her H may have to work so we probably shouldn't commit to it. She said I could come even if H didn't...which she eventually talked me into. She said they would love to see me and she knew SIL would love to see me. ...So it loooks like in 3 weeks I am going on a mini vacation with the in-laws.
My MIL has probably cried about this situation as much as I have. She has called me and apologized to me for things H has done. She has just really been upset about it. Anyway, we'll see how this trip goes, I don't imagine H will be attending.
I can't even express how happy I would be if that dang house sold. I am putting about $1200/month into it right now
Yes having the support of the in-laws definitely help. They are all like that too. His mom, dad, sister and grandmother. They love him and they would do anything for him but I honestly feel like they feel that way about me too. I remember when I thought we were definitely getting a D MIL called me and told me she felt like she was losing a daughter. She told me she would always think of me as her DIL even if I moved on with someone else. I really couldn't ask for any better in-laws.
I am literally counting down the minutes to leave work. It has been stressful this week and I am ready to forget about it for a little while.
