I've emailed HFF for your email. I'll get in touch with you just as soon as i can. I thought i had my email address on here somewhere... hmm.
I've read everyone's reactions to my ranting and I have to say i was pleasantly surprised. I expected ebveryone to jump on me and say what the he** do you expect, you cheated, etc etc. Thank you all for your opinions. there is just SO MUCH going on in my head i have a hard time keeping my emotions in check.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,rather by the moments that take our breath away. M38,H40 M14 K D11 S8 D - June 09
There are ALWAYS two sides to every story. The one thing I've realized through this process is that my H (the WAS) was in as much pain as I was. He just manifested it in a different way than I did.
Thank you for sharing both sides, y'all. Good luck to you both...
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I want to say how much I respect the two of you for bravely contributing both facets of your lives to this online forum.
We all can learn so much from reading and trying to relate to both sides of your piecing work that you share here.
I do have a question for both of you, especially MO2C, if you don't mind answering. Did HFF have to convince you, MO2c, to attend Retrouvaille, or was it something you wanted to do too? The reason I ask is my WAW has declinced attending two previous times (1 year ago and 6 months ago) and there is an April 11 - 13 Retrouvaille coming up soon.
I asked her two weeks ago if she would consider attending and she began to express hesitation again that it would not be a positive experience for her. I reminded her that we would be learning new communication techniques that would help us in future relationships if she goes forward with D.
I have not spoken with her about Retrouvaille since two weeks ago, but I will need to ask her sometime this week because we will need to register before it fills up.
Is there anything else I can say to reassure my WAW (who is probabaly also in MLC) that the Retrouvaille weekend could be a positive experience for her?
Thanks,
LG
Me 46 WAW 45 M 21 yrs
WAW: "I need to be alone" 12/06 W moves out 3/07 Mediation finalized 08/08
There was a bit of convincing that was needed. It came down tot he fact hat i wanted to use a mediator instead of an attorney to do our divorce. H agreed to mediation only if i tried Retro first. So i agreed. Once it came time for the weekend to happen, we are at a different point so I was a little bit more open to it.
I certainly needed the ulimatum though. I didn't think it was going to make much of a difference.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,rather by the moments that take our breath away. M38,H40 M14 K D11 S8 D - June 09
I want to say how much I respect the two of you for bravely contributing both facets of your lives to this online forum.
We all can learn so much from reading and trying to relate to both sides of your piecing work that you share here.
Thanks LG. This board has been a learning and growing experience for both of us.
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I do have a question for both of you, especially MO2C, if you don't mind answering. Did HFF have to convince you, MO2c, to attend Retrouvaille, or was it something you wanted to do too? The reason I ask is my WAW has declinced attending two previous times (1 year ago and 6 months ago) and there is an April 11 - 13 Retrouvaille coming up soon.
Mo2C's response is accurate, but I wanted to comment also. I did offer it as an ultimatum. It was essentially 'If we do Retro and you still feel the same way afterwards, then I'll agree to a D using a mediator knowing that we had tried all possible means.'
There was definitely a reconnection that weekend. It is a very powerful program and definitely worth the time and money. I would say that the majority (if not all) of the couples that were there were very disconnected going into the weekend, but by Sunday, most were holding hands and appearing to be much more loving. Huge improvements. I don't think that both spouses need to go into the weekend with a positive outlook for it to successful.
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Is there anything else I can say to reassure my WAW (who is probabaly also in MLC) that the Retrouvaille weekend could be a positive experience for her?
What is your W's outlook? Does she want to work on the marriage? Does she feel that she is done with the marriage? Is she indifferent? I would approach it differently depending on what you think she is feeling. If she wants to work on the marriage, it probably shouldn't take too much convincing. You could print out some the positive posts on here about it and show it to her. If she has no interest in going, you could use an ultimatum but I would be careful with this. Is she still involved with the OG? When you sign up for the weekend, they highly suggest that any affair relationship be ended prior to the weekend. I guess it could still be successful in this case, but I would bet the odds are much less.
I just noticed that there were 35 people viewing the Piecing forum. WOW!! That's the most I've ever seen! Where did all of these Piecing People come from??
I'm feeling a little bit stunned right now, although I can sort of say that I half expected this. Things have been a bit flakey for two weeks or so. Not sure what to do at this point. I guess its time to just let go.
