Bomb makes some great points; I see myself in some of them, and it does slowly get better, but also be prepared, as Anderson writes, for the cycling back to an earlier stage. Just when you think you're moving forward, you revert back to a pain you felt earlier. I'm currently in one of those phases--feeling lost, lonely, kicking myself for the mistakes and failures I've made. Those feelings come and go, as I get back into living the moment and facing life as it is, not as it was or as I want it to be.
You, and the rest of us, are in a hard, hard place emotionally, and this healing takes time.
You sound as if you are still acting in ways of hoping to get a reaction from her. That's understandable, but you will feel healthier, and be better prepared, for a stronger relationship with her or someone else when you don't need to look externally for validation. That has to come from within. Believe in your own value, that you are person worthy of love.
