Help me act AS IF, Thread 4

[newnamenewlife]

I'm starting to get really cynical about the whole MLC thing. Even if my H is having a MLC, does it matter? Does it make what he's saying or doing any less real or valid? I guess I've been thinking that if it's MLC it will pass like toddlerhood or adolescence does and everything will be fine in the end. I've been using it to make myself feel less culpable and to keep myself in denial about Hs determination to leave, hoping he will "wake up" and come back to me.

Everyone talks about "the script" and it's true that so many of our Hs have said and done the same kinds of things. But people also follow a "script" when they fall in love or propose or take wedding vows or become love-struck teenagers. I'm not sure how the notion of the script is supposed to be comforting.

I guess I'm trying really hard to face that my M is really ending and sometimes it seems like the many explanations for why our Hs have done this are simply there to reassure us that it's fake or laughable. If H says he isn't in love with me anymore, maybe that is just the ugly truth and I need to face it. Why would he say it if it isn't true? My H has said some out-of-character things and behaved selfishly, but he's not as far gone as many of the Hs out there. There's no OW, he's still a devoted dad, feels so sorry for doing this to me, etc. If he was acting completely nutso, it would be easier to doubt the things he's said.