The sadness will get better over time. Don't send the letter--maybe later, but not now.
Let the lawyers deal with the financial stuff. I have a feeling that she is going to have a rude awakening about the meaning of "marital assets" and "marital debt."
You are doing great. Someone else on this board advised that, when dealing with spew, you need to be like the penguins from the movie Madagascar: "Just smile and wave."
