why is it the "REAL" people i talk to seem to understand or at least try to see my side a bit yet those of you who don't know me don't understand or even TRY to understand.
Mom,
We are "REAL" people going through very real sit's in many cases much like your own. Why it doesn't always seem like we are trying to understand YOU'RE side? That I can't say...sometimes people here post from their own pain and hurt and project it onto you. It should be but that is the nature of a message board like this. People should TRY to understand your perspective but get stuck in the fantasy world of you shouldn't have those thoughts/doubts/feelings simply because you made a commitment or that those thoughts/doubts/feelings can go away and that you somehow have the choice in the matter...hey green beans are good for you but not everyone can eat them...some people litterally gag on them despite knowing they are good for them. Can they just click a mental switch that will make green beans tolerable to their palate or should give up on green beans and eat a different green vegetalbe instead...I don't know.
Maybe part of the reason the people in your "real" world seem more to "understand" you is because they are a part of your real world. They are on the inside, they are closer to you and are not looking at you AND your h. They are empathizing with you...but where is that getting you? You have to also be able to understand or at least try to understand your h's perspective. Maybe you are doing that already if so that's great.
Maybe we should all just back off of both of you for a bit and let you "dialogue" to eachother here and we'll only butt in when the two of you get stuck in your own corner and aren't hearing things or trying to understand the others perspective.
When other couples have come here together that has been a very productive way for them to post.
