Beloved was really ugly to BND...but my H told me he felt numb towards me too...maybe he still does...who knows?
They do that so that they wont feel the guilt...don't have to acknowledge the hurt they have caused. He wants you to suffer as he has suffered. It doesn't make sense but there it is...
BND's H came back and he is very loving with BND and the kids, etc...you never know with these guys...
It doesn't matter what you say to them...they are going to twist it in a way that is acceptable to them.
hey darlin!! Just keep moving forward - whatever the heck that means!!
In regards to our kids...I have made a choice to let H's actions show who he is WHILE teaching my daughter (son already gets it) to NOT EXPECT ANYTHING from him..that way you aren't disappointed.
Just wish I could get that one..
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
The kid connection seems like that is what makes it so stinki' hard.
Ok Kiki- dumb question but why do you have to go to court? Didn't your lawyer suggest mediation? That is what we started with. Or have you already done that?
Also-in regards to contacting your H. I think you have been doing fantastic!! It is so hard with the kids - having them be "in" our lives but not.
Your H is a bit of a butthole...but you have to say it has GOT to make it easier to not liek him - doesnt it? My H plays the "passive" role --- it makes it hell because i always see these "Glimmers" of his old self...very very small glimmers..but they are there and THAT is what pulls me back in.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
The kid connection IS what means it harder. It really is.
Oh Cagz, we have gone to mediation twice, the judge has written two letters saying she was going to throw the case out if there is no movement. H filed in Feb 2006.
Now it is in June. H will be spending alot more money in trial then if he would of settled. I approached him last week and he said "My offer will not change..it is it!"
Yeah, H is being the menest he has ever been. In the beginning he was passive..now he is just plain mean.
I was thinking about what he said a couple of days ago. I realize H just wants me to hurt. Sometimes I think I should have been the one to cheat. Then I would deserve it.
It is crazy, I was feeling a little lonely yesterday. I was with friends but sometimes I miss that male companion. Holding hands and stuff.
My life has stopped for almost three years. Im not divorced so I cant date.
My life seems to be on hold. Everyone else around me is moving and I am stuck.
i have a life , great friends ,always busy..but I miss being with someone special.
I told H that my life has stopped because of the divorce..he said so has his...how is that???
I'm so sorry sweets.....life does keep going though, you are not on hold unless you let yourself be on hold ! You are a wonderful woman with SO MUCH to offer ! I know that another man is out of the question now, but how about other people, friends, kids, family ???? They each fill a gap within us and when we are strong enough we will fill the void ourselves !
I hope you're ok ! Thinking of you today !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Hi Cinders. Yes, I am good. I have filled those gaps with friends, family, D7. I am hardly ever completely alone. I just have to be real with myself and realize I DO miss that connection.
Im not trying to say I am incomplete without a male, because I only complete myself. But you miss it.
You are doing well yourself. I think we are in similar sitchs.
