Bring on the Rain

[Rob1231]

Hi Sue, Back from a short vacation and catching up...

Sorry your H is still being such an a$$, but glad that you are so on top of things. You are doing so well in spite of all the cr@p he sends your way - good for you! I agree, don't let H's stupidity deprive you of your sweet D3(4!)

The money sitch does raise my parental hackles as well! I can't remember, how are the two of you handling finances? If you still have shared accounts for everything, my advice to you would be to split this up, as soon as possible, into three accounts - yours, his, and shared. Shared should include anything to do with the household, and anything to do with D3. Look at your monthly expenses and figure out how much of each of your paychecks should go into the three accounts - do it as an automatic, scheduled transfer that happens as soon as the paycheck is deposited.

We did this in my own sitch - and that's how we continue to have our finances to this day. After getting over the whole "this is because of the impending D" thing, I found that I really LIKED this arrangement. It is very liberating to have "my own money" which is mine to spend without feeling like I need to get every purchase OK'ed.

And in your sitch, I think it's time that H got a nice cold splash of financial reality thrown in his face. Even if he goes through with splitting up, he has some hefty responsibilities to D3 - and there's no time like the present to make that perfectly clear to him.

(((Many hugs!)))