He called me !! He called me back I think as soon as he got my voicemail. And we talked!! For almost six minutes!!
The phone rang, I saw it was him. I took a couple deep breaths and picked up. I was very happy, positive, friendly, upbeat. He laughed a lot during the conversation. He told me he was so surprised to hear from me. He had just finished playing a concert and was expecting a voicemail from a friend who was coming to see him and was going to meet him at the stage door, so he was totally surprised to hear from me instead of from her. (This made me a little nervous, because he didn't say her name, so I thought it might be a OW or something, but I kept my cool.) I told him I wanted to call him to thank him for the key, and how it was very thoughtful and considerate of him, and also surprised me! We laughed.
He asked me how I was doing, and I told him I'd been really busy with school, and that things were going better with my cello teacher. I kind of playfully asked him to guess who I met at school today, and then told him about how I met a mutual friend's mom. I told him that my teacher, who is colleagues with mutual friend's mom, brought her into my practice room, which has a view of all the skyscrapers to show mutual friend's mom all the windows that were broken from the tornado that hit downtown atlanta recently. Then I realized I had been talking for a while so I asked him how he was doing.
He told me about the concert he had just finished playing. It was in NYC, with a VERY prestigious new music ensemble. (Which is great for him--I've been praying that he would get really good opportunities where he lives, instead of having to travel constantly for work. All the musicians in the group are phenomenal, so it was probably very rewarding artistically and also financially fo rhim.) He told me about the one good piece, by a composer named John Zorn, who was in the audience. After the concert B talked with Zorn and Zorn said something like, "wasn't that f&*(&*& phenomenal?", praising the performance, and we laughed, and I affirmed. He talked about how most of the other pieces weren't so good, and I made a joke, "why do people write this crap and expect other people to play it and listen to it?" and then we laughed.
There was a "beat" and it sounded like he was about to start to get off the phone, so I tried to beat him to it, and something like this happened:
T: Well, I should get going. It was really good to hear from you. B: yes! Let's talk again soon. I mean, you can call me, or I can call you...dkljsdkfjs T: What was that? B: I don't know what I'm saying (laughteR) T: [makes "silly nervous sound" I used to make all the time] B: (laughter) T: It's understandable [that you don't know what you're saying]
He also said that it was good to hear my voice, and at some other point in the conversation said he was glad to hear from me and glad to know that I was alive. I responded with similar sentiments.
PHEW!!!!
I had no idea what to expect, but I think it went really well!
Positives: -He called me back right away -The feeling was very positive, friendly, light. -He sounded happy. This surprised me! I was expecting him possibly to still be in "ANGER MODE". His happyiness on the phone could mean that he is in a better place with himself and life, or even that he was actually happy to hear from me. -There was a lot of laughter! -He, unprompted, seemed to suggest interest in further contact -He also said "I don't know what I'm saying," which I thought was kind of vulnerable, considering the context -We shared the 'silly nervous sound' that we used to share when we were together -Also, at some point in the conversation he said, "yeeeeeesss..." and stretched the vowel out so it sounded kind of silly and Russian. I said it right back to him. This was something I used to do that he picked up and then we would do it all the time. It made me happy to hear him do that.
And I met multiple goals!!
He will contact me for some reason. (the package) He will call me on the phone (well, he responded to my voicemail) We will laugh together about something. He will ask how I am doing.
I feel like I did a really good job, and he seemed to respond really well.
Can I tell you guys something? It was really weird to connect to him on the "casual friends" level. He is definitely the same man that I love, but I have never connected to him that way before. It was kind of disorienting, and almost made sad, like, who is this guy? Does this make any sense? Have any of you guys had this experience?
I'm realizing that even though I've done so much work on myself, the real work is just beginning, and it is probably going to be a LONG haul.
I feel kind of nervous... should I have tried to do this earlier?? Also, should I have asked more questions about what he was doing? I wanted to be friendly and interested but because it was the first conversation I *really* didn't want it to seem like I was prying. Do you think I was too distant?
