Update... I picked up D this morning and we had breakfast and then stopped to look at an apartment complex that would basically be 1/2 way inbetween my job and W's. W texts me and asks if I had D so I replied yes. I also told her I had spoken w/ a real estate broker and his news was worse than the agent's on the house. W didn't respond to this one.
When D and I got home there was an e-mail from W wondering why I am looking for a quick sale of the house -- WTF? She demanded it to go up and be sold "as is" on Sunday. She also said that she wouldn't be paying off the mutual debt b/c it was all my fault that we have debt and that it would be amazing if we were to break even on the house b/c of everything I've done. She accused me of taking our money and not actually spending it on items. I really believe she feels I have some account somewhere where I'm stashing money or I have a closet cocaine, gambling, or prostitution habit. It is truly amazing.
I did reply telling her I looked at the possiblity of a quick sale on her request and that I had to turn over the financial copies to my L and I'll be seeing him tomorrow.
We exchanged a few simple e-mails talking about items in the house and W even put together a chart showing what each of us was claiming and what we still needed to decide on going forward. In that e-mail, W was nice and even asked for my feedback.
Well, I took D swimming -- she loved it -- we came back, hung out (I really thought she was going to crash b/c she swam so hard, but she didn't), played w/ her stuffed animals a bit (she was the teacher and they, plus me, were her students), and then got ready to head to the store to buy steaks to eat.
Right before we left, W sent a scathing e-mail claiming I was keeping the financial records from her just to be difficult and not only had I not given D 1/2 her books, toys, and movies, but I was denying her access to her furniture and holding it "hostage." This is crazy b/c I offered to bring her stuff to her this week when I was off -- even said I'd meet her in a neutral place so I wouldn't see her apartment complex -- and agreed to her proposal of hiring movers.
Anyway, she ended that e-mail, which got NO response from me, w/ this:
Quote:
At any rate, as far as the roof goes, I fail to see how going 15K further in debt is gonna help us to clear more money on the sell of the house. I am pretty sure "we" have enough debt as it is.
Ok, she is clueless about the cost to reroof the house for one thing, and the second thing that is lunacy is she was w/ me all the way on our purchases, so it is her debt as well. She keeps saying her "friends" look at our finances and say I've screwed them up and have to be hiding money somewhere. Well, her "friends" is actually just the OM. He is doing a great job at fueling her fire against me right now.
I can only hope the DB books are right and this affair will follow the statistics where about 80% of all affairs end w/in 6 months. As long as she has OM whispering negatives in her ear about me, there is ZERO chance W to treat me civilly, let alone have me somehow save this marriage.
I can only hope "the Snake" reverts to his true form and finds another co-ed to sleep w/ and finds her soon.
Well, D and I had a nice steak dinner and a pleasant end to our evening. That has helped to make this easier to take. However, I have to admit, I'm completely heartbroken by how I'm being painted and portrayed by W.
I still love her, but I'm beginning to feel as if I really am Don Quixote and I'll never figure out the windmill won't come down. I feel foolish for still wanting her back. I wish I didn't love her. That would make it easier if I was just as angry and bitter as she is.
However, at the end of the day, I know I can't travel down that road. Not now. Not ever. It will only destroy me in the long run. It is tempting though b/c the pain I'm feeling in the short run feels as if it will never stop and it too will destroy me.
I have to fight on. As my dear friend SPM always says, I have no choice but to "be the man." I have to show W that I am "the man."
It is hard, but it is my fate. I'm still supposed to learn something, so it isn't time to throw in the towel. It just feels like it is today.
